Tevun-Krus #51 - A Very Post-Apocalyptic Christmas

MadMikeMarsbergen's Phunk & Spunk from the Trunk of Junk

Donald Goes Pee Sitting Down, by MadMikeMarsbergen

Got me a brand-new wasteland for Christmas

Gee, thanks, Obama

Just kidding, though some of you are jumping over the moon

We're really thanking Donald "Orange Bag of Shit" Trump and Tiny-Where-It-Counts Kim Jong-un

Woke up this morning to find the neighbourhood's destroyed

Just a smouldering, smoking crater, oh boy

Kids dead, cats dead, it's a wonder I'm here, too

I think the dogs are being made into stew

The reports say Donald said Kim had a tiny little North Korean wang

After Kim said Donald went pee sitting down

And needed baby-sized toilet paper to wipe his dick, ass, balls, gooch and mouth

On account of his baby-sized hands being unable to hold the normal stuff when going north to south

Trump belittled little Kim some more

His supporters laughed and ate it up

Then he did the ultimate betrayal

He made Dennis Rodman admit the bromance was fake

What an asshole

Furious, Kim's missiles couldn't reach Trump in Mar-a-Lago

So he fired them at New Zealand instead

Thanks to Donald, he thought the new Kiwi Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern

Was Canadian PM Justin Trudeau's wife or girlfriend

Sick burn, bro, thanks a lot for that, now we're dead

And from there the missiles flew left and right

It was a dick-swinging contest for the ages, all for you and me

Two obese fucks with stupid hair and sub-human IQs

Trying to out-douche each other, though I'd prefer

They just eat poo, drink urine and drop dead live on TV

It's snowing here in New Zealand summer

Only these flakes are full of radioactive love

I can taste blood in my mouth when I eat them

I feel kind of sick so I think I'll go rest my head

When I feel better maybe I'll put my gloves on

And build two snowmen named Donald and Kim

Doing it doggystyle out in my front yard

Madly in love, those two cosmic 'tards