The Letters I'll Never Send

Hannah had known Grace for as long as she could remember, but only recently had she started to think of her differently. She didn't think of much else, really. She started focusing on the smallest, most insignificant things. Her laugh, her smile, the way she tensed up when anyone but Hannah touched her. She began studying her every move and thinking about it late at night while she tried to sleep. She was in love with Grace. Only neither of them knew about it.

"Grace?" Hannah shouted into their shared apartment. "You home?" She walked into their living room, setting her keys down on the small table near the doorway. She saw Grace sitting alone in silence. Something she never did. She was beautiful, Grace. Her long, dark hair falling effortlessly to one side. Her- "No, Hannah." She muttered to herself, realizing she was thinking about Grace.

"Oh," Grace turned to look at Hannah, wiping secret tears from her eyes. "I thought you weren't gonna be home until later. Sorry for the mess, I meant to clean up." Grace started fumbling around, trying to clear off the notes she had been crying over.

"It's fine, really." Hannah quickly went over to Grace, wrapping her arms around her affectionately. "What's wrong, Grace? I haven't seen you like this since we were kids." Hannah held Grace to her and Grace let out a small sob.

"I read your journal entries." Grace said as Hannah's face slowly fell.

"Which ones?" Hannah spoke with no emotion in her tone.

"I'm so sorry. I just found them and-"

"Which ones, Grace?" Hannah demanded an answer. She had written those privately. She never meant for anyone to read them.

"See for yourself." Grace handed one of the notes to Hannah, not meeting her eyes for fear of seeing the shame in them. Grace had only seen that look once before.

As Hannah read the note, she felt a sort of loss. She realized as soon as she started that they were the notes she had written about Grace. She never intended for Grace to find out this way.

"Grace, do you know what these are?" Hannah hadn't written Grace's name in any of the entries, but it was clear who they were about.

"I think it's pretty obvious, Hannah." Grace let out a small laugh. "And I'm happy for you. Whoever this girl is, she's lucky."

Hannah had to take a moment to process what Grace had just said. "Um, Grace?" Hannah laughed. "Why are you crying?"

"Oh, uh, it's nothing. I'm fine." Grace never was good at lying.

"Grace." Hannah said, a bit more relaxed. "What's going on?"

"I just, I wish-" Grace began.

"Do you wish these were about you?" Hannah asked, confused and a bit terrified.

"Well," Grace stumbled over her words. "I, um. I'm not, uh. I mean, it doesn't matter if I do because they aren't. Are they?"

Hannah laughed at her ridiculously oblivious friend. She leans forward and hesitantly kisses Grace. A certain spark went through both of their bodies. Hannah knew there was no going back after this.

It was Hannah who pulled away. "Of course they're about you." Hannah wiped away the last trace of tears from Grace's face.

"Okay." Grace pulled Hannah's body towards her own, kissing her again. She pulled away quickly. "But, what does this mean for us?"

"What do you want it to mean?" Hannah takes Grace's hands in hers, looking deep into Grace's eyes.

"All I know for sure is that I definitely want to do this again." Grace kisses her, ignoring the sound of a door opening.

"Well," Grace's younger brother, Tim, walks into the room. "What do we have here?"

"Uh, hi, Tim. What, um, what are you doing here?" Grace looks up at him, quickly moving away from Hannah.

"Hannah texted me and told me to drop by. Said you were in here crying." Tim laughs at them. "I see she's got that taken care of."

Hannah blushes. "Yeah. I guess you could say that."