Barnes & Rogers

J.B.B. - Purple Cap & Tears

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader leaves Bucky, giving him the option to find her when he's ready. When he does find her, he learns of some depressing news.

Warnings: Slight angst, mentioned miscarriage

Words: 962

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"Sure, Bucky. Whatever," Y/N grumbled as she grabbed her coat and keys, "You keep telling yourself that I would be better off without you. You know what? You're the one that insisting that this won't last, not me. I believe that we could work it out, that we would make it as a couple." She kissed his cheek and opened the door, turning to him with a sad smile. "You know where to find me when you change your mind." And out the door she went.

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The scene replayed over and over in Bucky's head for the whole week; he had taken the coward's way out of that relationship, knowing Y/N was the best he ever had, and there was no way he could even face her again. Especially when he emptied the bathroom trash the day after she left. The white stick with the purple cap was lying in there, out of placed amongst the tissues, random bottle seals, and cotton swabs, calling to him like a beckon. He had to look, didn't he? It was just as much as his business to know? The result of his curiosity nearly killed him the next few days. Broken metacarpals and jammed fingers from punching the bag too had for too long. Natasha got the better of him during sparring and Steve's shield nearly took his head off when they were in the SIM room.

"Bucky," Steve interjected his friend's thoughts, "I know Y/N leaving was hard, but you have to rather make up or move on. Get your head out of the past so you don't get killed." Bucky watched the blond step on the shield, sending the disc upwards to the magnets on his left bracer, filling the room with its metallic sound. "Call her," Steve urged.

"I can't," he muttered, refusing to elaborate on his reasoning. How could he tell his best friend that he let the love of his life walk out on him...pregnant? That she never told him? It would make the soldier become his closeted romantic self and try to reason with both of them, convince them that they belonged together when in reality, Bucky would only bring pain to Y/N and the baby she was carrying.

"She loves you and she's worried about you, Buck," Steve muttered, his blue eyes starting get a hint of sadness that for some reason made Bucky want to hit the punk ass in the face.

"If she was, then why did she leave? Why haven't she called?" He looked with forlorn at Steve, his thumb swiping across his lower lip.

"Real feelings just don't go away," Steve offered, "Call her. She's staying in Wanda's room if you don't want to wait. Just go talk to her."

Bucky didn't answer, too many thoughts about how badly this could go for him. He just bid Steve goodbye and made his way to his room, hesitating at Wanda's door as he compleplated of knocking. He was about to walk away when he heard a sniff and what sounded like a sob behind the door. His brow furrowed as his hand went to the knob, turning it slowly. Y/N was on the couch, curled up clutching a blanket to her.

"Y/N?" he whispered, as he knelt down next to her. His hand smoothed her hair as he looked her over. She was wearing a sweatshirt, cuffs over her hands as she held the blanket to her chest. "What's wrong?"

Y/N looked at him, sniffing as she pulled her hand out of her sleeve to produce a wrinkled tissue to wipe her nose. "I'm..."

"Don't say fine," Bucky chided softly, his hand pushing a stray tress of hair away from her face, "you're not fine."

She took a deep breath and nodded as she shifted herself to face him fully. "Bucky," she pretty much choked out, "I have to tell you something."

"That you're pregnant?" he whispered, giving her a small smile, "I know. You left the test in the trash when you left."

"No," she sniffed, "Bucky...I'm not denying that I am but I'm not...not anymore." Her eyes wouldn't leave her fingers as she played with the tissue. It took a minute before he realized wha she said, the meaning with it. the smile fell, as his stomach dropped. He leaned forward and placed a kiss to her forehead, lips lingering.

"Oh, Y/N," he whispered, his hand finding her hand under the cuff and laced his flesh fingers with hers. "I'm so sorry, baby doll." There weren't any words he could utter to make her feel better, or even himself, but he just held her hand and stroked her hair as she started to cry again. "I was an idiot to let you walk out," he muttered.

"I was an idiot to walk," she countered with a combination of a sob and chuckle. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you to your face about..." Another choked sob cut her off.

"It's okay. I'm not mad," he soothed, "I'm just worried about you. What can I do for you?"

Y/N sniffed and brought his hand to her lips kissing his knuckles. "Just...hold me for a bit, then take me home?" she whispered. He nodded and stood, adjusting her so he could sit on the couch before gathering her in his lap, arms holding her close. "I do love you, that hasn't changed," she muttered into his chest.

"Yeah. I heard that real feelings just don't away," he replied softly, "I'm sorry if I doubted that. I'll try my best to help you through this." He pressed another kiss to the top of her head, letting her dictate when she was ready to leave.