autophobia | l.h. au / slow updates

one

luke

The doors opened on the tenth floor and I stepped out, noticing the girl next to me did as well.  She walked the opposite way down the hallway, my new apartment to the right, hers to the left.  The box I was carrying was aching dully in my arms.  The dusty cardboard box contained all of my old records.  Inside were my favorites - Nirvana, Blink 182, All Time Low, and the 1975.  

I stood there for too long, by the elevator doors, watching her go into her apartment and close her door.  Just as her door closed, I felt my own personal door slam in my face.  

What the hell was that Luke? 

Why didn't I say something to her? I wanted to know her. She drew me in. I couldn't help but stare at her in that elevator.  I was so close to her, closer to her than I probably would ever be again.  

As I walked to my own room, my mind trailed off to her.  Bryn.  That was what Miss Coolidge, I think was her name, called her.  Something intrigued about her intrigued me.  

Maybe it was her long, coffee colored hair, inked with cinnamon and sugar towards the tips.

 Or, maybe, it was her azure colored eyes, shaped perfectly like small almonds.

Maybe it was the way the corners of her pink lips tugged upwards into a small smile, the most beautiful one I had ever seen.  

Whoever she was, I was intrigued by her, a great deal actually.  

Later that night, I sat on my newly put together wooden bed, trying to catch up on some Netflix.  I couldn't stop thinking of her and her alone.  God damn, she fascinated me.  Never in my life had I met - rather seen - someone as beautiful as her. I wondered everything about her.  

How old was she?

Who was her favorite band?

How did she take her coffee or tea?

What side of the bed does she sleep on?

Whats her biggest fear?

What does she long to do for the rest of her life?

I mean, I know my answers to those questions.  That's simple when you know yourself.  I was 19, my favorite band is All Time Low, I drink my coffee black with sugar, I sleep on the right side, I have a fear of being trapped, and I live to be free.  

Freedom was my addiction.  It was my own personal drug. If there was anything I loved more, it  would be.... Nothing. There was nothing I eternally craved more than being free.  I hated the thought of being caged up with a normal life, stuck at home and work.  Some people misinterpret that and think I mean I'm afraid of commitment.  I'm not.  I want to find the one.  

But, my biggest fear is being stuck with an ordinary life for all of my existence. I don't ever want to look back on life and say I never traveled out of the country, or I never did this, I never did that.  I need to be able to say I did go to abroad, I did that, and I also did that. 

I had a desire to be free.  People always ask what my fear is. 

And here's the answer: being trapped in one place for the rest of my life. 

 A/N: I hope you all are liking this so far.  Sorry this is sooo short.  I've honestly been stressing over this so much and it takes me a long while to write because I literally always have writers block.  Umm so actually, this book is based off how I feel.  I actually, Kat aka me, have autophobia, so everything Bryn feels in this story is exactly how I feel.  Just thought you guys should know that lol :) Anyways, please remember to vote and comment and tell me what you think! Love you all! xoxo kat