Endlessly

Thunder

Philadelphia had always captivated me. After all, I'd called the loud, eager city 'home' for all nineteen years of my life. Constantly busting over with fresh, unfamiliar faces, there was always a sense of adventure in the air. It made each day feel like a new chance to do something incredible. Plus, the sports culture and hoagies weren't too bad either.

I coaxed the Jeep into a front row spot outside of The Tav, turning down the radio. Eliott sat patiently in his carseat, and through the rearview mirror, only his head of messy curls was visible. With his sapphire orbs, he gleamed out the window at the falling snow. I sighed.

I'd give anything for his kind of perspective- the curious, untainted mind of a young human. It was like he was a blank book, with life habitually filling his pages in with the scribbles of experience. I scowled, thinking of the pages where life had carelessly spilled the ink or torn the corners. A lot of those ruined opportunities were due to Anna's recklessness. The tipped high chair this morning was the latest crinkle in his book.

"Alright El, let's head in. Time to see Uncle Boone and the other Lost Boys." Under my breath, I chuckled.

That was what we had called each other since our baseball days, the five of us. Each of us had messy home lives, with psychological baggage ill suited for the rest of the world to handle. Parentless, frustrated, confused teenagers banded together to create a makeshift support system. In that sense, we found each other. Peter Pan style.

Sliding out, I tread over the iced pavement lightly to unbuckle Eliott from the complicated car seat. He held his chubby arms wide for me to gather him in mine. Balancing him skillfully on my hip, I shut the red door to the Wrangler and clicked the key's lock button twice. We ignored the closed sign on the front door, passing through the front entrance like ghosts.

"Oh man I must be dreaming- is that really you, Kit?" A confident voice called from inside. I could hear the easy grin of Jared's tone.

The boys were seated at the center bar of The Tavern, or 'The Tav' as the locals called it. Familiar Budweiser signs illuminated the place in reds, purples, and blues, making the casual sports pub look more like a nightclub. My best friends, the Lost Boys, sat all in a row in front of our mutual father-figure Jim. He wore a simple flannel with jeans and a warm, welcoming smile. A small white cleaning rag was tossed over his left shoulder.

"Nope, you're still asleep, but you have great taste in fantasy." I winked slyly towards Jared, who choked on his beer in response. The rest of us cracked up. Pulling up a leather barstool, I sat down next to Ben and set Eliott on the counter gently.

"A Blue Moon will do it." I requested. Jim shook his head as I took out my wallet.

"On the house." He said firmly, but with a pleased expression in his brown eyes. I caved gratefully, tucking the wallet back into my pocket. Jim went on to tease me. "We haven't seen you here in like what... two weeks? That's no way to treat your family."

All four of my best friends, Boone, Jared, Danny, and Ben, gave me faces of mocking shame- tsking to add to the effect. I rolled my eyes, laughing. They could be so childish sometimes. Jim popped the top off a Blue Moon, and slid the brown bottle across the counter into my strong palms. Eliott mumbled to himself happily, playing with a coloring book that we kept under the bar specifically for him.

"Thanks Jim. So what's been going on? What did I miss?" I asked, taking a swig of the alcohol and staring down the counter to the last face. "Danny, how's Sierra?"

The kid growled under his breath, his thick dark brows furrowing. He had been fighting with his on-again off-again girlfriend last time we spoke, about a couple weeks ago. From the looks of his response, Danny wasn't getting any more sleep than he was before. He ran a hand through his short, cropped hair.

"Let's just say that she will not be getting any action from me tonight." Danny snarled, making me chuckle. Boone, my closest friend, perked up with mischief in his eyes.

"Exactly- she won't be getting any from you. Me, however...." He trailed off with obvious intention. Jim swatted his head with the bar rag as the rest of us suppressed our amusement. For a moment, I took in how much I had really missed this place, these people.

I stared out the front window towards the outside view, letting my mind wander. Scattered people passed by the glass, as most did their shopping, drinking, and working in this crowded, bustling downtown area. The snow continued to fall upon them, unpredictably so, as the flakes clumped together in the air. It was as if the icy particles clung to each other purposefully, grasping for the masses so they wouldn't have to fall alone. Something tugged at my heart that I couldn't identify.

"So is Anna still being a bitch?" Jared asked flatly, pulling me out of the daze. I quickly covered Eliott's small ears, giving the twenty year old a meaningful yet playful look. He gave me an apologetic grin and shrug in return. Ben reached across Boone to shove Jared lightly.

I gave the five of them a plain look, and was greeted with an unsurprised response from each of their expressions. "You know how she is." I started.

"Lay it on us." Boone encouraged. The rest leaned in a bit, some taking a sip from the bottles in front of them. I raised my eyebrows warily, tired just from thinking about narrating the past two weeks.

"Well, it's been the same level of torture that is has been since the divorce first started." I explained. "I've just been running around to take care of El, finding a job, and trying not to think about Dartmouth."

I turned nineteen on December 1st, just under a month ago. Most kids my age were just heading back to school after their winter breaks, adjusting once again to the vibrant, hectic college environment. I, however, would remain here in Philly against my will.

After focusing twelve straight years on my academics, graduating with an Honor's Diploma and National Merit, I had planned on attending my dream school: Dartmouth. When I had been accepted, I felt that my sister's spirit would've been proud, and more than that, my parents would feel the same way. This of course, was wishful thinking.

It didn't matter that my parents were wealthy, or that I was perfectly capable of scholarships and loans- they didn't want me leaving home. Even when the divorce rocked their marriage, that fact never wavered. I was too helpful to Eliott to be on my own they had said. 'He needs you here' translated into 'We need you here so we don't have to be parents.' Even with how much I loved the kid, it was exhausting: a constant burden that sliced into my chest.

"Hey man, things are gonna turn around soon, I swear." Ben said, clapping a firm hand on my shoulder. With optimism, he continued. "You never know what could happen- maybe the whole college thing just wasn't meant for you. Maybe there's something better coming along."

The corners of my mouth tugged upwards. Maybe he was right.

"Yeah, that's one explanation... Or I just got screwed over in the family tree department." I added on with a bitter laugh. Jim cracked open a fresh lager himself, leaning against the inside of the oval shaped bar. Danny spoke next.

"That's probably more-"

Suddenly, right in the middle of Danny's thoughts, a surprisingly loud thunder of banging rumbled furiously against the front window. All seven of us, the Lost Boys, Jim, and even little Eliott, jumped from our seats. I whipped to my right, staring out at what could possibly make such an alarming noise.

And then I saw her.