The Returning Ex

Prologue 2

"I'm Mandy."

He smiles at me, "It's nice meeting you, Mandy."

"It's nice meeting you too."

He seems really nice.

"Are you gonna be okay here? Gusto mong sumabay na lang pauwi?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine here. And thanks but, I wanna stay here pa."

He smiles again. His eyes are smiling too, to the point na halos guhit na lang ang mga mata niya.

Chinito.

"Okay then, I'll go ahead. Stay safe."

I just smile in reply. After that, he walks away. I watch him as he put on his earphones and disappears from my sight.

I sit on the bench once again and look at the handkerchief. It's white in color and although there are few visible stains, possibly because he fell earlier, it smells nice.

And then I thought – maybe he saw me crying, that's why he gave this to me.

I examine it even more.

Ganito kasi ako. When someone gives me something, I tend to "investigate".

I see three embroidered letters in green at the bottom left corner.

LMG

L, for sure, stands for Luis.

I am thinking of possible names for the two remaining letters when my phone vibrates and lights up.

It's from him...

"Hey?"

again.

My boyfriend –

ex, I mean.

Muntik ko nang makalimutan, we broke up.

We broke up when I thought everything is just fine, when I'm already ready to fight for and with him at all cost because I thought I know that he will do the same...

We broke up when he knows that I love him so much.

♪ Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright. Where did we go wrong? I swear, I knew we'd last this time. Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind?

How could you change your mind?

Who got inside your mind? ♪

His ex got inside his mind – and into his pants.

In that two-year-long relationship, I have never imagined myself crying over a cheater. And more than that, I have never ever thought that he can cheat on me.

I can still remember him saying,

"I promise that I will never ever cheat on you."

Nakakatawa.

He went back to the one who cheated on him by cheating on me.

Pero ganoon naman yata talaga. Ang mga "I promise", sa bandang huli, nagiging "I am sorry" na lang.

I guess I should have never trusted him so much.

Napakaraming "bakit" sa isip ko.

Bakit ka bumalik sa kaniya?

Bakit kaya mo akong iwan para sa taong nanakit sa'yo?

Bakit hindi mo na ako mahal?

Mga bakit na hindi ko kayang itanong dahil alam kong hindi ko kayang tanggapin ang mga sagot.

Nagagalit ako. Sa kaniya. Sa kanila.

Pero alam kong magalit man ako, manumbat man ako, o magwala man ako dito – wala na akong magagawa.

He already made up his mind. He already has his choice.

Sobrang sakit lang pala na akala mo mahal na mahal ka, pero sa iba rin pala sasama.

Na akala mo sa piling mo masaya siya, pero maghahanap rin pala ng iba.

At 'yung tao na akala mo ay makakasama mo habambuhay, sa puso mo – siya pala ang papatay.

Umiiyak na naman ako.

Siguro hindi talaga kami para sa isa't-isa.

I can't help but feel pity for myself – he's happy while I'm feeling miserable and stuck in my memories with him. Pero naisip ko, hindi naman ako dapat umiiyak ng ganito. Dahil kung meron mang talo sa aming dalawa, siya 'yun.

He does not know what he is missing.

He does not know what he threw away.

Mas mabuti nang ako 'yung naloko, kesa naman ako ang manloloko.

I wipe my tears away.

"Can we talk?"

Wala na tayong dapat pag-usapan pa.

It's been a month since we broke up at hindi ko alam kung ano pa ba ang gusto niyang pag-usapan.

I open his message.

And block him.

It's better this way.

I gather my things, stand up, and start walking going home.

I really have to move on.