The Apprenticeship

Months Later

A few months later, Owen is still trying to teach me the same thing, learning my place. I don't care for this lesson and I think he's finally getting it. 

"Avery," he says, "at least pretend, in public."

"I don't think you get it Owen."

"What don't I get?"

"Where I'm coming from, what I'm fighting for."

He takes his chair with wheels, one of the ones that spins, and pulls closer to me. I'm sitting next to his desk in a normal fold out like chair. "What are you fighting for, Avery?"

I'm stuck in my own mind, my own thoughts and opinions. I now know what it feels like to be lonely, and not the type of lonely that everyone experiences on a day to day basis. The type of lonely where you know you're not alone. You try everything to believe, believe that you have someone who understands exactly what you're thinking. I wish it was the other type of lonely. The type that you just feel like no one's around. This time, I know no one cares. Owen just says he does, not actually meaning any of it at all. No one will ever understand what I'm fighting for.

"I'm fighting for nothing. Owen, I'm not fighting for anything."

"Are you wanting to pass?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Then that's what you're fighting for."

Truth is, I'm fighting for so much more. I'm fighting for my family, my freedom, most importantly, I'm fighting for my society. I don't want us to live like this anymore.

"Avery, your time with me wraps up soon," I look up at him, "you'll go back to Daniels as soon as you're caught up."

"Isn't there a way I can be transferred to stay with you?"

"I'm sorry Avery. It's been a good few months. You had to have caught up by now."

"Owen."

"I'm sorry Avery. You're dismissed."

I stand up and walk to the door, without looking back I open it and walk out. When I get back to my dorm, I fall face first onto my bed and cry.

•••

"Avery?" I hear a faint knock on the door.

"Come in." I reluctantly say while being muffled by my bed.

"Hey Aves. It's me, Bella. You know, your sister. I haven't seen you since yesterday, at lunch. I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look like it." She sits down on the edge of my bed, "tell me about it."

I tell her exactly what Owen told me. It doesn't stop me from crying even more. Sometimes I wish I would have chosen History. I love the archives, I love everything about our past. I wish I could start a rebellion. Wait, that's exactly what I should do.

"Bella, we should start a rebellion."

"You're delusional Avery. Maybe I should take you to the infirmary."

"No, I'm fine Bell. I'm being serious. It's the only way to show them what's wrong."

"Avery, nothing's wrong. Our society is fine."

"You were always like this."

"Like what?" She sounds so defensive, like when we were kids playing board games and I beat her.

"So...so, I can't think of the word."

"I have to go Avery. I hope things get better. Maybe yoy can talk to the Elders? They're more powerful than the Council and may be able to issue a transfer."

"We both know they can't do that. It's not allowed."

"Someone had to have transferred. It may just be a lot of work so they don't recommend it. Anyway, I have to go. Bye Avery." She closes the door behind her.

I remain silent, processing the information she gave. She's right. Someone had to transfer at some point. I bet the archives has something about it.

Time to break in.