I've Fallin For Him

CHAPTER 4: THE PAIN

Chapter 4: The Pain

After what happened on the shower room, I just want to be invisible that time, I started to get crazy. I don't know who told Kimmon that I have a crush on him. I'll find that person, and if I found him, I'll kick his ass.

"Stop walking back and forth, Copter. What's the problem?". Toey said in irritated tone. We are here in my dorm one Sunday afternoon. Toey came all the way here, to my dorm. We don't have class for today, so, we decided to get lazy this day.

"But Toey, he already knew my secret and I don't know whose that stupid person told him about that. It's irritating me". I was pacing back and forth because, men I'm so worried.

"Could you please stop that and calm down for a bit. Sit down here beside me".

I stop for awhile and sit right next to Toey. I can't help but to think whose the culprit. Arrrgh!! You're going to die if I'll find you.

"So, what's your problem my friend?". I look at Toey and start to tell what happened.

"Someone told Kimmon about everything. About me having a crush on him".

"Then what's the problem. Friend, he just only knew. Don't you like that?".

"Toey, I like that Kimmon knew that, but I'm just scared that he won't accept me. Scared that he turn me down. Or worse, he'll avoid me". That's true. Every time I think of that, it kills me. It like stabbing a knife in my chest.

"Why are you easily giving up? Did you already try?"..

"Try what?".

"Try to confess". I turn my head to face Toey. Is he serious? He knows that I don't have any courage to do that. Even if I want to do that.

"I have no courage to confess, Toey, you knew that". 

"I know. The question is until when. Are you contented that you look at him from afar?".

"Yes, I am. You know what Toey, in this society, you have no right to love the same as you. Because if you did, they will judge you". Honestly, that's true. In this society that's full of judgemental people, you have no right to love the same sex. It's sad but it's actually true.

"I know, some people nowadays, are totally close minded. Even in the clothes you wear, they will judge you. They will look at you from head to toe. But Copter, remember this. If you really love that person, you will truly conquer the world". Toey give me again an advice.

His right, but I don't want to take a risk, I'm afraid of being hurt. I'm afraid of everything. It's frightened me that people will judge us. Sigh.

"I know what you're thinking. You don't want to take a risk because you are scared. But hey, don't be. You need to have a lot of courage to face those. Learn to take a risk because you wouldn't know it's worth it, if you won't to take that risk". Whooo!! How he knew what was in my mind?

I look at him with full of curiosity and his head burrows. Haha your so cute my friend.

"What?". He asked me with curious look on his face.

"How you'd knew what was in my mind huh? Are you a mind reader?".

"Stupid! I just knew you. I know everything about you. Even the smell of your fart, I knew that".

"Oh! Really?"

"Yes. But seriously speaking, don't worry to much on the future. Focus on today. And if that time has come, face it like a strong man. Okay?"