Repairing my universe. (ON HOLD)

five

Ocean, sand, the moon and the stars, the faint sound of music playing on my phone and us sitting on the huge blanket that I brought. It's a beautiful night. The ocean is quiet except from the waves that break once they reach the shore making a huge splashing sound. The stars shine brighter than at home. They look so gorgeous. It is very relaxing so I'm just letting my thoughts flow. I'm thinking about how awesome Matthew is, how good a friend he's been in this three months we've known each other. It feels surreal how attentive and sweet he can be. He has come to my house almost everyday since we've met and I have to admit, I really enjoy his company, his not so funny jokes, and his strange way of wanting to always take care of me. Though he can be a real pain whenever he wants to. He pranks me all the time making me want to break a chair on his big head. And sometimes he's so determined on making me smile that it becomes annoying, but it is so crazy how close we have become after all. At first I was sort of rude and also unfriendly with him but he paid no mind to it and just kept on trying to make me laugh which I found very odd. Guys don't usually do that. Normally when I'm rude to a guy, he just never talks to me again. And Matt is just weird. But as you can imagine, eventually I stopped being rude to him and accepted the fact that I wouldn't get rid of him any time soon. His words exactly. So I decided to reciprocate and treat him how I would treat Alex and Heath. But I still don't understand why he would want to be my friend, I mean, I'm not even interesting. And sometimes I can't help but think that he's just playing a really dirty game with the few feelings and dignity that I have left. If that is the case, I don't know if I would be able to handle it. I'm a very sentimental girl.

_____________________

It's 4:38 in the morning and we're still eating chips and talking animatedly and listening to songs such as 'only angel' and 'kiwi' which are songs written and sung by 'Harry Styles'. Sweet old fashioned rock and roll, just my favorite type of music. Matt has the same taste of music as mine, we like almost everything as long as the lyrics had meaning. We, Matt and I, are surprisingly alike. No wonder why all of us, including my two best friends, get along pretty well. I'm surprised because they're not here. They're always with us, we've sort of become a little group. All of us are out of school already and we all have part time jobs except Heath, who is planning on leaving our group for the army. Fucking bastard. I should cut his legs off so he can stay with us but I know that it's his dream so I'll suck it up. I must seem like a whore because I only hang out with those three guys but our friendship is the most sane friendship there is. We care about each other but we never cross the line. Only when we're joking and that's pretty much all the time but moving on, we are the best of friends, now including Matt.

I lay down on the big, soft, pale green blanket that I also brought. I start to shudder and quickly cover myself with my one and only blanket of Stitch. Now I am warm. I sigh. Matt looks at me and gives me a shy smile. He lays beside me and covers himself in his blanket. We stay silent and it isn't weird. I like this. I like how comfortable we are with each other. It almost makes me forget that my life is a whole lot of mess. As we listen to music I begin to drift off to sleep.

_____________________

Hey beautiful people.

i know it's been a while and i'm sorry, life has been really hard lately. i have been feeling like shit.. not that any of you care of course but i don't know.. AND my inspiration hasn't been at it's finest. i suck, i know!!

this is a short, boring chapter because i just needed a filler. next chapter will be better. i promise

also, i'm updating every friday from now on,  so stay tuned.

goodnight sunshines!