Life sings sad songs

The Black Parade

The previous year, just after Lucas's mother had died lucas's Dad decided to take Lucas with him into the city. Harry liked to go and see parades but he never brought his son with him before, they were going to see a marching band. When they got there Lucas found it strange that everyone was wearing black clothes and that none of the people looked like they were having a good time at all. Nevertheless he enjoyed himself and almost felt like he fitted in, he felt understood when he was with these strange people. On the way home in the car, Harry, with a serious face said to Lucas  "Son, when you grow up will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned? Will you defeat them, your demons and all the non-believers the plans that they have made?" Lucas was extremely confused when his father said this so he didn't reply at all. They said no more to each other on the way home. This was the moment when Harry's mental health began to deteriorate.

Lucas often felt that his mother was watching over him, there just to give him a nudge in the right direction if he was about to go wrong, just like she would if she was alive except he can't physically feel or see her, he was sad that he couldn't feel or see her anymore even though he knew this was going to happen after she died. Lucas was sad but he was able to carry on unlike his father his was getting more depressed by the day, whole weeks went by where he didn't even wash himself. Eventually, eleven year old Lucas was looking after everything at home, including his Dad who on some days needed a lot of persuasion to even eat. It took an awful long time for Harry to get even remotely better. His friends helped a lot, they didn't much like Lucas or Ellie but they did help Harry get a little better so Lucas and Ellie didn't much mind them being around. Eventually Harry could look after himself, more or less, however he was extremely bad at looking after his children, so Lucas did most of that work.

Lucas was under a lot of pressure, his sister relied on him so he couldn't really put any work into school. He didn't have any friends, he didn't get good results at school and he didn't do any homework, mostly because he didn't care for any of it. His teachers knew he had it tough at home so they didn't interfere or give out to him, they just left him be. Lucas liked looking after his sister, but sometimes he wished he could do other stuff like make friends and get good grades. Despite not being able to, Lucas carried on. He had an armour that made him able to keep going and never stop, it was almost like he was living this life to make his mother proud. He also desperately wanted and needed love and affection from his father and that is another reason why he is leading this life instead of standing up for himself and Ellie, so that one day his father might realise how great his son really is. Obviously he never did. Though lucas had an armour to steady himself against the world he became  insecure and just sad. He remebered the people from the marching band and how they dressed and looked. Lucas then went upstairs grabbed all the black things that he owned and put them on he got old eyeliner that he had gotten for a Halloween costume two years before and put that on aswell, it's not like he felt any better when he put them on but felt like he could express his hurt now, without having to scream into a pillow. He liked his new look and once he went back downstairs his sister gave him a smile, something she hadn't done in a very long time.

On a very drunken night after Lucas's mother had died Harry burned all evidence of her existence in the living room fire. Lucas tried to stop his Dad from doing it but there was no stopping him, after that day it was like Harry and Ellie had completely forgotten their wife and mother. Lucas was the only one who tried to keep her memory alive, he told stories about her to Ellie however she never seemed to be able to listen. Lucas was adamant that her memory carried on so he kept on telling his sister about their mother. After a good while of hearing these stories Ellie eventually broke down into tears, she couldn't handle it anymore. She would rather to forget her mother than to experience the pain of losing her over and over again. So Lucas began to write it all down in a notebook his mother had given him a while before she died. He almost prefered it that way, he liked being the only one able to carry her memory on.

Lucas never stopped caring for his sister until until the incident with the social worker. Ellie was smart for her age and could look after herself mostly, however Lucas wanted her to have more oppurtunities than he did so he always tried his best so that she wouldn't have to. She did have friends, people liked her and she done very well at school being top of the class in almost everything. Lucas was happy about this because he knew if he wasn't around this wouldn't have happened, but he was also very jealous. He wanted to have the same life as her, he wanted someone to look after him aswell. Lucas and Ellie were put into foster care after the incident, they managed to be able to get into foster care together. They were looked after when they were in care, after two years of being in the one house the nice couple who they were fostered by adopted Lucas and Ellie. After all of this Lucas never stopped reading and adding to his colection of memories in his notebook. Making sure that though his mother was dead and gone, her memory carried on.

song: Welcome To The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance