Start Again

Part 10

"I forgot to ask you about your date." It was two days ago. 

"Well, there's not much to tell." Stevie shrugged, sitting Indian style on Lindsey's bed, while he was sorting his things out, putting clothes into drawers. "It was a joke."

"Oh yeah? Why?" Lindsey asked, unable to hide the smile on his face.

Stevie found it endearing that her failed attempt at dating someone made Lindsey happy. "He was a nice guy, handsome, funny, he said all the right things, but..." Stevie shrugged. "I just wasn't interested in him at all. He asked if we could go out again and I said, sorry, but I don't think so."

"That's a shame." 

"Oh come on, you don't actually mean that." Stevie rolled her eyes. She got up from the bed, seeing Lindsey struggle with folding one of his shirts. She snatched it from him and had it neatly folded in no time. "There's something I want to talk about to you as well." She said, avoiding his gaze. 

Lindsey sighed, slumping down on the bed. "The kiss."

"Mm..." Stevie nodded, sitting down beside him. "I was a bit shocked, I wasn't sure how to react."

"I didn't plan on kissing you, just..." Lindsey shrugged his shoulders, struggling to explain. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. I mean... it's not like I didn't enjoy it." 

"It's Mick's fault." Lindsey clasped his hands together and leaned forward, sitting hunched over. 

"What the hell does Mick have to do with this?" Stevie frowned.

"I met with him the other day for coffee and we talked. I admitted some things to him and he convinced me to go for it." 

Placing her hand on his shoulder, Stevie hoped Lindsey would turn to face her, which he did. "I don't really understand what you mean by that. What things and go for what?"

Lindsey hesitated, chewing on his bottom lip. He opened his mouth to speak and closed it again. Here goes... "I told Mick that I- that I have feelings for you. They never went away, I guess, I just kept them bottled up, because I was married to someone else. I didn't know what I was expecting, coming back with flowers and everything." Lindsey laughed at himself, shaking his head.

"Linds..." Stevie smiled at him, the palm of her hand pressed against the side of his face. "I thought I was the idiot here. After the Fleetwood Mac show, when you told me about Kristen, I kept telling you all these things and I thought either you ignored them or you just didn't feel the same and you didn't want to make me feel stupid by telling me that. Lindsey, I told you, I love you. I can't get much more obvious than that."

"Well, yeah, but I thought it was the kind of I love you, you know, we've known each other forever, we're friends, I'm here for you." He rambled, making Stevie chuckle. 

She shook her head, reaching for his hand. "No. I love you in a romantic way. I was terrified you didn't feel anything for me anymore, when I didn't get any response. You're going through divorce, you're clearly upset, I know I'm the last thing on your mind right now, but..."

"It's not entirely true as we now know." Lindsey hugged her around the shoulders and Stevie's arm went around his back. "But..."

"Oh, there's a but." Stevie pulled away and straightened up. 

"Steph..." Lindsey had an apologetic look on his face. "You have to understand where I'm coming from. Kristen and I weren't just a couple, we were married for a long time, we had built a life together. You were right, saying, I loved her and I did. Maybe it wasn't as strong what I felt for her compared to how I feel about you, but I did love her. I guess, I still do. I can't just jump into anything with you. Not yet."

"Oh, I understand." Stevie nodded her head, standing up and moving away from him. "I get it. I mean, I've waited for you since '97, what's to wait another twenty years, right?"

"Please-"

"No no." Stevie put her hands up, stopping him from getting any closer. "It's alright. It's me, Lindsey. You know I will wait." She faked a smile. "You've always known that no matter what, I'll always be there, waiting for you. You've always had me to come back to, that hasn't changed." She didn't sound sincere at all. "Why don't you just-" She began, then stopped. "You know, I can't do this." She shook her head, storming out of the room.