A Friend's Love

Chapter Four: News

News.

News to break the routine of endless pain and isolation and silence. It was announced by my parents that we were going to a different city for the summer.

Well, I guess it should've been called a town.

Population: 415. Things to do included going to the park and walking around aimlessly until you became so bored you went home and were bored there. There were no shops. No gas station, no movie theatre, no swimming pool. Barely a library. All there really was, was a building where the mail was delivered. The upside, (at least according to my parents) was the fact that I'd lived there as a child, and there were a few people I'd known who were still there. In fact, I'd get to re-meet them soon! ...what a dream come true...

I spent most of the next two days packing. It gave me something to do. The ache in my arms leftover from lifting heavy boxes and bags felt good whenever I went to sleep. The physical pain gave me something else to focus on, aside from the different kind of pain I still felt from both Tessa's death and my break-up with Erec.

We left early Thursday morning. The trip was hours long... too many hours for me to even bother to count. We went from Washington, to Texas. I had peeled off my jacket and made my parents stop so I could change into a tank top and shorts by the time we got there. When we pulled into the tiny town, I was disappointed. The place really was boring. I had hoped that maybe my parents had been playing a joke on me or something. But nope... this summer was going to suck. But, hey, it would've sucked anyways, with Tessa and Erec gone...

It was like there was a hole in my chest. A big, bleeding hole. And it was always there. Everything reminded me of Tessa or Erec. They were always there, somehow. Especially Tessa. I missed her every second of every day.

But now I was getting away from it all. And maybe it'd turn out to be a good thing. I needed time to think. Maybe I needed to start over, find something that helped me deal with Tessa's death. Maybe I'd find that, whatever it was, here.

*

We pulled into the gravel driveway of our old two-story house. The paint was a faded gray color and it was peeling in most places. Gnarled rose vines were creeping up the side of the house, with only a few dried pink roses trying in vain to stay alive. The house looked old and beaten down, and it was. My parents and I had lived in it until I was three or four. Then my mom had gotten a break with her art and we'd moved to Washington. I'd lived there ever since.

I barely remembered this place, but now we were back. I was anxious to get inside, where the air conditioner was. The heat was stifling, and sweat was gathering under my arms, on the back of my neck, under my eyes...

I was used to sweating. Basketball practice made me sweat plenty. But I wasn't used to the dry heat. Humidity, I could handle. But not this.

Unfortunately, it was almost as hot inside as it was outside. So while my parents started unpacking, I grabbed my things and explored the house. My room was upstairs. When I pushed open the door, the hinges creaked. That would have to be fixed.

It was a big room, with wooden floors and all the furniture I could need or want. But there was no color. The only light in the room filtered in from a wide, dirty window. Everything was dusty and old. It would take me a while to get everything cleaned. And I'd have to do something about those walls. This room needed a bit of color.

*

I spent the whole rest of the day and part of the night dusting, sweeping, and washing. And then I started unpacking. By midnight, my walls were painted jade green and splatter-painted with rustic gold. I'd found gold star stickers in a drawer in 'my' desk and I'd stuck them all over my walls. Green, my favorite color, surrounded me. It was familiar enough to be comforting, but not familiar enough to remind me of the past. It was nice, this 'starting over.' I didn't know what else to do but run away, and that's what I felt I had done. I could start over now... right?

*

Once everything was done, my mom made plans with old friends to have dinner at their house. Their last name was Johnstone.

I wasn't looking forward to the dinner. I hated being in public now. Everyone expected me to talk and smile and interact, and when I didn't, they looked at me weird. They automatically judged me, and they didn't even know what was going on in my life. They couldn't know. I didn't think these people would be much different. Not really. Everyone was the same. These people wouldn't be much different, would they? I guess I'd see...

'BREATHE... because you have to.'

- Alyssa <3