A Friend's Love

Chapter Twelve: Change

Time passed.

I went to the Johnstone's house nearly every day. Jake treated me exactly the same, for the most part. I tried to forget what had happened, but the memory still buzzed in the back of my mind. No matter what I did, I couldn't forget it, and I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to.

The mornings when I woke up screaming and didn't get out of bed until Jake called became fewer and farther apart. Eventually, Tessa's name didn't tear a hole in my heart. And it became easier to remember her, and still be happy. Now, I remembered the best of times we'd shared instead if her death. And so instead of crying, I smiled.

On one of the days I felt my best, I messaged Erec back. It had been a week and a half since he'd sent his message. And now it was time for him to get an answer.

This is what I said...

"Erec.

"This is hard for me to say, but it needs to be said.

"You sent me that message a week an a half ago. I've been thinking about what to say since then. There are a million excuses I could use but... maybe it'd be better if I came straight out and said this.

"I can't do this again. The 'us' I once knew... is over. I... I don't want to get hurt again. And I don't feel the same way anymore. I've moved on. And... I might have found someone else.

"So if you HAVE changed, you'll understand. And maybe you'll find someone else too. I'm sorry I have to do this. I REALLY am. But... I think it'll be better this way. So. I guess this is goodbye. Good luck Erec.

-Amy"

I didn't get a reply. But strangely enough, it didn't bother me. Because I spent the next week learning how to both let go and open up. Erec became a part of my past, but nothing more. He faded from my life. And on the other hand, Jake became a major part of my life. I slowly opened my heart to him, and accepted the fact that he wasn't just my best friend anymore. I needed him.

And it took me forever to get up the guts to tell him just what I felt. I mean... how do you tell someone you love them?

But it turns out I didn't have to tell him, because... he told me first.

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It was just another summer morning. One of my better ones. Cassie had been running around the house screaming random things for over an hour, so Jake suggested we take a walk to get some quiet. I gladly agreed.

It was damp outside. Dew sparkled on the windows and there were puddles on the ground. I realized it must have rained last night.

The sun was barely shining through a patch of pale gray clouds. A breeze blew my hair off my shoulders and I shivered slightly. Jake looked over at me and took my hand. It was such a casual thing for us now. He probably did it without thinking. But now, every time I felt his hand in mine, I remembered that night when the rain had poured down and we'd both poured out our hearts to each other. And silently I wondered if he felt the same way. I was ready. I knew I was. But I didn't know how to tell him. And I was a little scared he'd push me away, despite all the promises he'd made. That's just who I was. I was prone to doubting.

So while we walked, I wondered. And just as I had gotten up the nerve to say something, anything, Jake stopped. I stumbled, and then turned to look at him. I didn't even have time to voice a question before a sentence was out of his mouth.

"Do I still have a chance?"

Silence. Had he really just said what I thought he'd said? I couldn't get a single word to come out of my mouth. My heart, was pounding... loud.