Focus Kookie!

Still Strong!

☡ WARNING☡

~For those who are uncomfortable with mentions of Christianity and for those Christians who are sensitive to gay content "which is basically what this book is, why are you still reading if it makes you uncomfortable?"

Oh yeah, also this is a short chapter!

Kookie's POV

After suga's rude interuption of our hot, close to loosing my virginity session Namjoon and I decided to talk about what we wanted and whether or not to make this official and he was persistent on making me his by leaving evidence of his marks all over my collar bone and chest.

The night was spend in endless stealing of soft kisses and cuddling like there was nothing to do tomorrow, I was a tad bit worried about how Jimin would react towards me if he found out that Namjoon and I are now officially a couple.

"Morning kook" I was greeted by Taehyung

"Morning V hyung " I responded and turned my attention towards Jimin who just walked in behind me with a towel wrapped around his lower waist "Morning Jimin hyung"

"Morning kookie-ah" he said while patting my head

'Wtf am I? a bloody bunny for him to pat my head? Don't even answer that conscience'

I shrugged him off with a pout because I don't like it when people pat my head, it makes me feel like they're belittling me. He cooed at me with his baby like expression and started pinching my cheeks trying to force my pout into a smile in which he succeeded in doing so.

'Woaw, he's so perfect'

My insecurities started kicking in, why would Namjoon not want to be with Jimin and be with me instead? Am not as perfectly toned as Jimin, he's so dreamy and that's coming from me which is saying alot. Should I talk to him about it? Should I be worried?

I shook my head in frustration after concluding that I came here to find a career goal and not get side tracked by being in a relationship with the guy who's why I'm here, gosh I need to get my shit together, I need to work harder at getting better at everything so I can make mom proud.

I will.

I'll make her Proud.

5 months later

5 months, that's how long it's been since Namjoon and I have been dating. Yes we would have our heated make out sessions but he wouldn't take it any further than kissing because he wanted us to wait till he got mom's blessing which got me to tear up everytime he mentioned her.

I know mom loves me but I also know how important her faith is to her, she would always break down in prayer whenever she was faced with trials or triumphs. It pained me whenever I thought that she'd probably be ashamed to have me as a son.

Regardless of my sexuality I remained true to my faith, yeah I get it I'm gay and a christian, how does that work right?? I still believe in God and follow the morals I was taught in bible school and I always pray. Was this wrong? It didn't feel wrong to me, I was taught to think it was a sin that's what the bible said in Leviticus. Only God can judge me so I'll just leave it at that till judgment day. Fight me!!

Don't ask me, I don't even know but hey hope you enjoyed the update!! 🤗

Thank you for reading, voting and Commenting 😊

Kamsa 💖