Sasha's Salvation

19. Healing

Sasha

"I'm glad you could make it," Haven said standing beside me at the sink.

Today was her baby shower held at the clubhouse. Of course it was anything but traditional. The members of the club and their families were all invited. Which meant a full house. Something I was slowly getting used to. Baby Hazard (as everyone so affectionately called him) was expected to arrive any day.

"I know it's still hard being around everyone, and seeing..." she said stopping before she said anymore.

Cade. It had taken months for me to be able to say his name to myself. Saying it out loud to anyone else was something I hadn't been able to do yet. Seeing him for the first time was ten times harder but I was slowly getting used to that too.

"Therapy is helping," I said with a forced smile.

It wasn't a lie. Therapy was helping. I had spent the last few months growing more independent, less fearful. The nightmares still occurred. I still had irrational outbursts of anger at times but they were dwindling. There was some things I wasn't sure would ever go away, especially the fear of relapsing back to drugs.

The people around me seemed to have faith in me though. My relationship with my parents and Haven was healing, too.

"Good. So, I've been meaning to ask....how are things with Dante?" Haven said with a smirk.

"We're friends," I answered.

"Friends?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yes, friends! You know my thoughts on ever being in a relationship."

"You mean those ridiculous thoughts you seem to have about not being able to become emotionally involved? Yeah, open your eyes sis. You've been in a relationship for months now and Dante is happy as a clam."

"We're not in a relationship."

"Sure. So he just takes you out to dinner, and date-like outings, sees you like every freaking day and not to mention sleeps over all the time?"

"We haven't....." I started, getting somewhat embarrassed. So it did seem like we were in a relationship but strangely enough since that first night Dante slept over he hadn't initiated anything physical. I mean, he touched me....all the time... and held my hand but never anything sexual.

"Do you want it to?" she asked, drying off the last dish.

"I...." I shook my head, refusing to answer. I had been asking myself that question for weeks now. My body had an answer for me but my head needing more convincing it seemed.

"Hey isn't that Richard? I didn't know he was still coming around?" Haven said nodding towards the window.

"He didn't mention it at work. Whose that he's talking to?" I asked.

"Hog. I didn't think they even knew each other?"

"I don't know."

Dante

"Hey boug! You ready to go?"

Zax was playing with Cade and some of the other kids there for the shower.

"Oh Yeah! Can I ask Haven if I can stay the night with them? Hazard said they have the new Ninja Turtle Movie!"

"I guess if its ok with them. She's in the kitchen with..." I stopped looking down at Cade but before I could answer Zax was off and moving.

"It's ok to say her name ya know," Cade said not looking up from his legos.

"Give your mom some time. She's a good person, she'll come around. She's just been hurt pretty bad."

"I know. She checks on me a lot," he said.

"Whatcha mean?" I was confused. I knew Sasha had been in the same places as Cade, but as far as I knew she still avoided interacting with him at all.

"Well like on Tuesdays when I have soccer, she sits in the back. And one time when I lost my plane outside and Haven made me come in, it was sitting by my door the next day. She didn't know but I saw her get it from outside when she was leaving and bring it back inside."

Fuck. That was all news to me. Probably news to anyone. Sasha was very closed lipped when it came to conversations about Cade. It was one subject she hadn't budged on yet as far as I knew.

"She said YES!" Zax came back in with a jump and a high five for Cade signaling the conversation was over.

"Alright. Well you behave now."

"Yes sir! Love you!"

"Love you too boug."

I left the boys to their play and made my way towards the  kitchen.

"Speak of the devil," Haven said with a smirk.

"Hey now. Those horns are only there to hold up my very heavy halo," I teased back.

"You in here jawing about me sug?" I said to Sasha.

"Jawing?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

"Damn! I forgot to say goodbye to Tag's mama! If I don't see ya before you leave call me to let me know you made it home," Haven said.

"We will," I answered for her, knowing she would object, like she always did.

"We? Who said you're invited?" Sasha said.

"Well you are the one who asked for gumbo. So now you just have to decide whether we're cooking at your place or mine?"

"What is this we word? I thought the deal was for you to cook my gumbo."

"Not happenin' Cher. You are helping me this time. So you about ready to go then?" I said holding my hand out.

Damn her hand felt right in mine.