A Crime to Live (Assassination Classroom - Female Reader Insert)

Chapter 15 - Summer Festival Time

((Y/N)'s POV

If I could have one wish...It would be...To live in a world...With one, big, colorful, painting, that painted itself...Nothing could taint it...Not the world...Not them...Not him...Not me...Only itself...I would just watch...As it grew into something new...I wouldn't be able to blemish its beauty...Even if I was told to...Even if they forced me to...Even if I didn't want to...There would be no connection between the painting and I...Nothing to hold the art back...Nothing to hold me back...I would be nothing...I would be a forever blank canvas...As that painting in front of me...In this empty world...Painted itself...For itself...And we would both be happy...Because we never knew each other...

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But now...I am tainted with the color of red...The color that once gave me hope...Now is a painful reminder of my sins...When I look up to the only other painting in my empty world...I notice now...Even though its too late...That I came too close to it...And smudged the masterpiece...And now...We will both be stained...For a long time...With our tears...Because we know each other...I'm sorry...Its boring

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"Even if you left the painting alone...Wouldn't it smudge itself sooner or later?"

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"Would it _____? I wonder...If the painting would enjoy your colors?"

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"I'd like to think so. After all, you seem to like them very much."

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"Its boring."

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"A test of courage? Now?" questioned Nagisa. Currently me and the rest of the class are crowded in front of the hotel, where Koro Sensei proposed the idea of a test of courage. Instead of speculating what our teacher had to profit from such an event, my mind was else where. 

Why is everyone acting like nothing happened? I can spot signs of detachments and distaste they have of me but some seem to want to mend or restart with our bond. This makes no sense. Turning to hate is easier then it is to forgiveness. So why do they insist on doing things the hard way? This will not be a pleasant term if they continue to wander of the plan I have for them. Perhaps they're faking their comfort similar to the others...But their feelings seem so genuine...This makes no sense...Why must children be so unpredictable..."Are you okay (Y/N)?" Snapping out of my thoughts, I turned to Kayano who was next to me. Answering her worried question, O told her, "Your worry is not needed, I was simply lost in thought." Thinking for bit she replied with an "Okay" and returned to the class as they talked amongst themselves about the event in the caves. It seems that I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice my frustration was showing on the surface which is very out of character for someone like me. Taking my bitten nail away from my mouth, I could already feel a few eyes on me. I need to get a hold of some music device soon, I need a way to relive my thoughts and soon.