The Bad Boy Mate

The Mate Crap

I stared at myself in the mirror.

And I hated it.

Yukk, I looked so ugly. There was no other way to describe me. I was fair complexioned, with brown hair, and sexy looking great highlights, that looked like they came out of a fashion magazine. I had a pointy button nose, and thin perfectly pink lips, that never chapped. My clothes were the latest fasion, and fit all my grooves perfectly.

I hated my appearance.

But I did not give a damn. I just did not care how I looked. Even though I spend at least 2 pages in my everyday diary describing how I look and what I wear. But I am ugly, and bad looking. And I hate myself for it. And also, I have no self esteem at all. Like I totally think often how I am the biggest nerd loser on the planet.

I have no idea how right I am. Cuz I am dumb, by now you have clearly figured that out.

I take a last look at myself in the mirror, where I have been examining myself for the past two hours, moaned some more about my disgusting appearance, which is so uncool and nerdy, and wished I looked perfect and made my way downstairs.

New town, new school, new friends.

Not my thing. Since I look so terrible, and am so socially awkward, I suck at making friends. I am useless, who would actually want to be friends with me? I am dumb, and ugly, and broken, and shattered. Nobody loves me, and I have never ever felt love in my life. My parents hate me, and so do my siblings. Everybody seems to hate me.

Yeah, and nothing else matters.

Because the universe revolves around the concept of love. One look at me, and everybody is gonna find out how unwanted I have been my whole life, and then they will go thinking, Oh gawd! This girl has never been loved in her life! What a freak! Lets all stay away from her.

I shake my head in sadness.

My existence is indeed pathetic. I have no point in living. I don't even have a reason for existence, as I dont have a boyfriend. Becasue things like making something of myself, getting independent, having a future, do not count. There can only be ine reason for existence.

True love.

I blush deep red at the way my thoughts are going. I never think dirty things like love this early in the morning. What is wrong with me? Is it this town? What is with this place that is making me go so horny, that I am thinking about naughty topics like true love at seven in the morning? I am getting vibrations here. Something big and life changing is going to happen to me today. I can feel it.

And no, I am probably not getting a scholarship, or getting into a college.

And nope, I am not acing a test, because I do that just fine, even though I never study, but spend all my time either thinking about hot, sexy naked guys or fantacising about them. But I am a virgin, and I have never been with anyone that way before. I have never done the deed, but I spend every waking and living second thinking about it, with my one true love.

So the only thing that can happen is that I can meet a hot guy. And it probably will happen. I just had this gps kind of thing in my stomach. And today, it was practically screaming hot guy hot guy......... So I was going to trust my instincts.

I pick my bag, and finally head out to school, ready to face my first day head on, even though, like, I was terrified on the inside.