The symphony of the seas (Denizin senfonisi)

Part 3 : Avoid the eyes...and the lips

Yagiz PoV

Sinan followed Yagiz to the back garden and he didn't need to be briefed on the reason his brother is talking to him on that tone. As soon as Nil saw them, she started:
N: Yagiz, I tell you, I'm going home, don't waste your time...
S: Nil, I'm sorry...can you listen a minute?...
N: to what? You think there can be a proper explanation to what just happened? Are you delusional?
Yagiz stood between the two of them, raising a brow and paying half of attention to them... he became so used to their quarrels .. and he used to play the older brother, calming them down and making them reconcile... he was always so sure it's going to work...but it became not funny or bearable any more...so he just stood there, angry, but most importantly he was thinking...there was something he couldn't get out of his mind: What's the new girl doing here? Who's she? And when did she started seeing his brother? He wanted to ask Nil but seeing that she's still arguing with Sinan, he preferred keeping the question to himself. Nil started crying :
N: I never hurt you...whatever argument we had, we used to solve it internally...no public humiliation needed. So why did you find it appropriate to show up with a girl to such a party?
S: What about you not answering my calls for a week? Is it appropriate?
N: what kind of parallel are you making? I can't answer your calls because you were still playing games on me, with a girl in the night club, you remember?
S: come on, don't be stuck on that... you are so annoying?
N: do you listen to yourself? You already owe me an apology and what does your mind tells you? To bring a girl to Merve birthday!!!

Yagiz saw the purple dress in the corner of his eyes, it awakened his senses...she will show up now...he quickly looked to her feet...slow and shy steps... she was confused...probably first time in this house!.. he took a deep breath...he's going to look up now... before his eyes move, his mind already called her image...the black silk hair... he could feel its softness though he never touched it... he clenched his left fist...as he was trying to resist the temptation to grab the hair... or as if he tried to imitate the gesture of touching it... he didn't even notice that his hand was reacting to his thoughts...he now sees her purse...a small black purse..plain design, she didn't need a more attractive one...a purse is what one notices when there is nothing else that grabs his attention...he was in the fashion business and he was able to look at all at once... but not tonight...tonight his mind was selective..he didn't want to waste a second at being distracted by the dress and accessories...he finally reached her shy smile...she was apologizing with short words and making herself a place between the bunch of smokers... is she going to smoke? He didn't like the cigarette smell but felt curious to see how she would light hers... she didn't... she was looking at their direction...this is when he looked to her eyes..she had a confused look, as confused as her smile...as confusing as her smile...no, he needed to focus...but on what? ...his gentleman instinct was about to push him to where she was standing...to offer her company...maybe a drink...or an information..was he sure that it's a gentleman act? Nothing more? There were other ladies there and surely none of them(the new girl included) NEED the company of a man, and they were not in the middle of jungle to need help or guidance so why was he feeling the urge to join her? To talk to her?..she seemed lost...trying to hear Nil and Sinan talk. At the distance separating them, she shouldn't be able to hear or understand their talk... he knew it because he couldn't hear what the smokers were saying... she started grabbing her dress sides between her fingers..at her hips level...his fist clenched harder while observing her fingers ...the dress tissue should have felt lucky..
why was he trying to understand what was going on her mind? He didn't even had to ask himself such an (embarrassing) question because Nil pulled him out of his thoughts:
N: Yagiz what are you doing? You want to hurt your hand??
Y: what??
Sinan just noticed Yagiz fest..
S: Abi?!
Y:....
N: Ok, now say something, your brother won't listen to me, such a stubborn
S: thousands of times, I've told thousands of times, you have no power or authority to dictate me what to do or not in a night club...I'm just having fun...you are overreacting..
Yagiz realized they were in this situation because of the girl... how could he be carried away and forget the reason behind all of this chaos? His face hardened...his blood was now boiling...Nil tears reminded him that no girl, and no one should go through such uncomfortable situations ...his memory brought him to the first time he saw Meghann after their break up, in a small café in Manhattan, with a new guy, two weeks only after their break up... her laugh killed the last hope he had, to mend their broken bond... last thing he remembers is him leaving the cafe in a hurry, before she notices him, then running home and booking his flight to Istanbul... he can't bear to think about betrayal...not that he was sure Meghann had done so...but he just hated thinking about it..and now it's his own brother who was causing this pain to an innocent girl, to Nil. He would have a talk with Sinan they day after, he should explain to his brother the consequences...but first he should show this new girl where to stand...far away from a happy (was he sure? At least he hoped) couple... she needed to be shown how wrong she behaved... he headed towards her, as he came closer, he couldn't find words to start with... he was not even feeling his body, nor controlled his steps.. he was not sure how he walked towards her, an invisible force was driving him...words were still floating in his mind...how should he start? He gave up on gathering his thoughts because he was already too close..so he just gave her a hateful look..that would do for now...that would be enough for this round of teaching her a lesson...he even started to finding his plan amusing...tonight he will take satisfaction of making her regret what she did to Nil...and what she did to him..she reminded him of his painful memories with Meghan and that only happen rarely since his return from NY...so she should pay for that too. One doesn't burry easily a betrayed heart. Just when he thought he can't think of his ex anymore, he finds out he's still hurt...when he sees a couple arguing in front of him, he feels bad, he would have wished couples would never argue...but he would also, interestingly, feel envious that they had the chance to argue, to talk, that means a possible reconciliation or at least the chance to clear things up..to understand..to hear an explanation. He didn't had such chance, five years ago, he didn't allow her to explain because he was so afraid that his worst nightmare would come true and that she would tell him "Yes I started seeing someone else before our break up"....
He needed a drink.
And he needed to prepare his speech.
This time, he will not run, he will face her. The new girl.
He sipped his Old Fashioned and unwilling started thinking about the purple tissue texture...he didn't believe in "favorite color" concept because he could literally hate or love any color, depending on circumstances...his job taught him to be that open and to leave behind his personal preference... he always needed to look to outfits and tissues with a professional eye, so why was he tonight thinking so much about purple as if it has been his favorite color ? His eyes were only looking for purple, for its softness, its mysteriousness, its deepness, a rich color where you could drown your thoughts.. get lost, get surrounded, get caught... he took another sip but felt impatient...he won't wait for the purple to show up, he will look for it, he will hunt it, he will track it, he will catch it..a nice payback to how much this purple caught him.
He finished his glass.
He saw her, she was climbing the stairs. It's now or never.