You Belong To Me

Chapter Freud

'The virtuous man comments himself  with
dreaming that which the wicked man does in
real life.'
Segmund Freud

When she was jolted to consciousness again it was because someone was knocking incestiously at her door. Ali got up with a flurry of confused bedsheets and it seemed to take her forever to finally reach the quiet but irksome knocking. She wondered what time it was. Trey was there, not smiling as usual. His eyes seemed darker by several shades but when he spoke his voice was the same. "Are you sleeping?"

"No, I'm not." She felt sunken into herself and barely able to hear herself respond. Ali breathed out a hard breath and touched her hair. Her rollers were gone and her hair was smooth and soft. Her fingers slipped through the lengths easily. Her nightgown strap slid off her shoulder. She must have slept all over the place that night. "What's the matter?"

"I had to say goodnight," he muttered. Ali wiped her eyes with her hand once to clear the sting of sleep and when she opened them he was much closer. Very much closer than he had been before. She didn't have time to smell his wonderful smell and take in a great whiff of his cologne. She didn't even look at what he was wearing. Instead Ali remembered his lips pressing against the side of her face and then into the corner of her mouth. Then his sweet lips were on hers and she felt knees give under the weight of her want for him. Her eyes hadn't closed and instead she watched him kiss her. Trey's mouth opened wholly and his arms wrapped very tightly around her. His kiss was consuming and exhausting immediately.

Ali felt his lips on her neck and collar and then her shoulders without even realizing that her head had tilted back. She put her hands on his shoulders, delighting in feeling his skin underneath her digits. Her hands stretched apart and her fingers spread, feeling as much as she could while he stretched over her. Ali purred under his kissing lips.

She opened her mouth under his tongues invasion again. She felt herself falling into the sheets of his seduction and then the cold silk she slept on was pressed into her back. She squirmed with her arousal underneath him. There was no sound except for her insistent pants and pleas. Her arms suddenly felt heavy as anchors and they fell to the bed as though something was pulling them. Trey pressed into her front and watched her face. "Ali," he breathed, her eyes not really seeing him. "Oh Ali," he moaned.

She felt him moving inside her before she felt the wonderful disturbings of a peak to their touching. It struck her as odd because her very favorite part of having sex was feeling Trey penetrate her for the very first stroke, the beginning of their joining. She whimpered and reminded herself to remain a part of their coupling. Instead she recalled herself remembering to pose prettily as all the girls as the brothel had suggested to each other. Ali turned her head just this way and angled her arms to cradle her breasts. She feasted on the love he was heaping on her.

"Ali," he breathed. "Ali!"

"Yes," she panted, just wanting to be with him in his elation and exuberance. Her fingers touched him anywhere he could reach. She purred under his treatment. "I love you."

She was jolted awake by her own admission. Ali sat up with cool sweat on her brow. Her hands were shaking where they  clutched the bedsheets around her. She felt the extra weight on her head on her hands hopped up to make sure her breasts were secured and then to her head to make sure her rollers were still in place. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Her mind whirled around in the dark room and her hands wouldn't stop shaking. She had never had a dream like that before. Ali wondered if she was finally gone, if all those times she thought she'd truly lost her mind had only been preliminary trials for this moment when she imagined with her own thoughts that she might lay with him in that capacity willingly.

Ali pressed the balls of her hands into her eye sockets and figured cooling her face and neck with a cloth might be the best remedy. Her naked feet pedaling across the fine wood floors were the only noise in the room. Occasionally she walked over a rug of regal decor. In the bathroom she wet the towel in the dark and pressed its coolness to the back of her neck immediately. Her racing heart slowed. She opened her eyes and calmed in the blackened bathroom.

Ali closed her eyes again but instead of quiet black she saw herself, posed as she might want to look, underneath a long stretching moving Trey. Her eyes shot open but the damage of remembering had already been done. Ali knew every intimate detail of her own wildest imagination in seconds as it came crashing back to her. He had kissed her, lifted her off the ground she thought.

Trey had moved inside of her and called out her name. They had shared something more tender than that last moment; a sweet goodnight.

She put a hand to her mouth to hold in an audible gasp when she realized she wanted to see him right then. Ali wanted to touch Trey's arm and feel his warmth. She wanted to push her face into his side and whisper what she was thinking... what she wanted him to do to her.

She hadn't felt that way in  a very long time. The towel fell from her fingers and she took steps back from her mirror back towards the door. Ali could feel the night ending in the chill in her bones. A few more minutes would break day.

What would she say to him when she saw him with that fresh memory on her mind? Is this how he felt? He was attracted to her. Is this, the rushing dire need to see him and breathe his air, attraction? She felt flushed.

And though she didn't know how the rest of her day might turn out, she knew one thing for sure... she wouldn't let Trey know what she might have been feeling for him at all. By the time the sun broke she was a little cold for not having turned on a fire. When someone came at the time she would have woken up Ali turned down breakfast kindly and took a small morning nap. When she woke up she could tell it was past noon but she felt rested and just a little achy. It was the perfect sign of full rest.

She leaned up with ease. She smiled. Ali was excited about the night, the party. Standing and going to the pull tab on the wall seemed a more jolly task that day. Ali had never been invited to a party and she didn't imagine that she was now. What she was almost certain of, though, was that she wasn't going to clean up anything or be a companion to someone.

When she stood in the mirror in the late evening light she brushed her teeth and imagined she might act, if she had no other means, like Abigail did: commanding, mysterious, and damning. Abigail spoke as though her words on a matter were what the matter revolved around and anything said before or after somehow had been about that.

Ali held her shoulders down in the mirror and turned her head just so.

When Adelaide barged right in the room Ali was elated to see her and so was the other girl. Neither of them hid their excitement. "You kept the rollers in!"

"I know!"

Ali realized that day that there was so much to looking beautiful that feeling beautiful required just as much strength and patience and understanding. She'd never really stained her lips. They were too big. And certainly not so daring a color as red. Adelaide assured her that it was all the rage. She caked Ali's eyelashes with coat after coat of lengthening mascara to 'offset her eyebrows.' She put yellow and beige and tan powders on her face. Ali had never had makeup applied to her face.

They sat for a moment discussing her fragrance of choice after her toiletries had been seen to. By the time they were finished discussing what Ali like all she remembered was that it was Lanvin brand and named most outrageously. It also smelled of fruit and made her want to dance. Or it at least quickened her pulse.

When her nails were dry and her makeup had 'settled' Adelaide sat her at her vanity to pull the rollers from her hair and brush her S curls into unison. She swept all Ali's perfectly shiny hair to one side of her neck and pinned it with a beautiful diamond comb shiny enough to be a tiara and get her robbed. Adelaide nearly shook with her excitement to apply it. 'Wonderful,' she whispered. Her shoes were Salvatore Ferragamo originals. They were shining gold t-bar sandals with a four inch street heel. They glistened in the light and concealed her tiptoes in an attractive gold closed toe with mesh. Adelaide swore she had not even tried them on...