Hold onTill May

Part 3

If I were you I’d put that away

See you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again

Darling you’ll be okay

She said

If you were me you’re do the same

‘Cause I can’t take anymore

I’ll draw the shades and close the door

Everything is not alright

and I’d rather…

   Avery found herself staggering into her house around sun set. The front door was still open from when she rushed to the hospital. Surprisingly nothing was stolen, the house was untouched. Everything was in its place, but Avery still felt like she was lost. She was lost in a world she was unfamiliar with. She was wondering in a world that made her feel unwanted, un-needed, un-loved.

 “You’re never going to get anywhere in life, because you’re stupid, ugly, unwanted, unneeded, pathetic, and no one would notice if you just disappeared!”

  “I know,” Avery whispered back.

“Everything that is wrong with my life, is your fault.”

 “I’m sorry.” Avery started walking towards the kitchen.

 “And I’m going to move to Dallas, with uncle Danny.”

 “Daddy, please don’t leave,” she cried out.

Anything is better than this."

Avery shook her head.

“It’s okay! I’m here, they’re not real!”

 “I can’t make them go away, Vic” she whispered. “I’m not strong enough.”

“Yes you are!”

“I’m not!”

“Listen to me! You’re going to be okay, I’m here.”

 “I’m so sorry!” she yelled. She fell to the floor. She so badly wanted to cry, but there was not a single tear left in her body. “I’m sorry, I’m not good enough for you. You deserve so much better.”

 “…no one would notice if you just disappeared!”

“You’re right,” she said she looked up at the counter knife block. She stood up and slowly walked over to counter.

“Anything is better than this.”

Avery nodded then pulled one of the knifes from the block. “I know what you mean now.” She looked at her refection in the knife, then she looked at the bottle of gin sitting next to the knife block. Avery smiled and took the bottle in her hand.

Avery went up to her room, and climbed out onto the roof. The sun was still making its way down past the cemetery. She sat facing the sun with her legs dangling of the edge. She started chugging the gin. The alcohol burn her throat but that didn’t stop her. The drink made the voices quitter.

Suddenly she heard the sound of the train in the distance. Avery stood up and watched as the smoke from the engine grew close. She stood up and stood on the edge of the roof.

Vic sat outside, smoking a cigarette, the sound of the party thumped behind him. He shook his head, regretting coming. He had hoped drinking and partying would of gotten Avery off his mind, but it didn’t. Letting out a breath of smoke he closed his eyes and laid back on the porch.