Azriel's Tale

Azriel's Tale - Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16:

It hit Azriel hard. The words his brother spat at him that evening, but that is what he wanted at the time. Cassian had wanted to hurt Azriel, and he knew exactly how to execute his plan. He was an Army Commander after all. He needed to know everything about his soldiers, Azriel included. 

The shadowsinger was lying in bed after excusing himself from his family downstairs, trying to drift away into sleep. Emphasis on the trying. His window was open slightly as warmth was returning to Velaris and he wanted to keep cool. The soft breeze fluttered the curtains open slightly so he could see through the window.

The stars. The houses. The denizens of Velaris. All of them laughing. At him.

He knew that Cassian was not only speaking of his reluctance to talk about his behaviour and attitude alteration after the War, he was also speaking of Azriel's early childhood and what he had experienced which left marks on the Illyrian's body which he could never ignore or hide in the shadows, no matter how much he tried. Azriel had always spent so much time and energy trying to forget what he had endured, but what was the point? He would always remember. A soft knock at his bedroom door interrupted his thoughts, though perhaps at the time it was a good thing. 

"Who is it?" Azriel called.

"It's Rhys." Azriel responded to his High Lord and Rhysand stepped inside. His brother gestured to Azriel's bed in question and Az nodded. Once Rhys sat on the side of his bed, he presumed he would say something but they both sat in silence for a moment before he spoke. 

"Do you want me to speak to Cassian?" He asked.

"No," Azriel quickly responded. "I don't want this to be bigger than it already is. Something about me is clearly bothering him so I think I should speak to him directly." 

"It's not you Az, you can't put that kind of blame on yourself," Rhys spoke gently. Azriel pondered on whether Rhysand would notice the irony in his words. Rhys was constantly putting the blame on himself when there was no need, but this was not the time to speak of it.

"I think we are jumping to conclusions here," Azriel confessed. It was obvious that the both of them in his bedroom thought that Cassian could have been alluding to his early childhood but that was a stretch. "He could have simply meant that we were over worrying. He didn't say anything about me not talking about my life before the Camps." Rhysand went surprisingly still. 

"We don't need to talk about that if you don't want to. Even if Cassian is talking about that, you don't owe him, or anyone else for that matter, any answers about that part of your life," He paused. "I'll leave you to think about it. Goodnight." Azriel thanked him and wished him well as his High Lord left his bedroom. 

Consent. Ever since he had returned from Under the Mountain, which was some time ago now, he had always expressed to his family how they didn't owe anyone anything, or how they couldn't be forced to tell things they didn't want to. Not that he didn't say that before but, after Amarantha, consent was something Rhysand had obsessed over. Azriel didn't want to think any more on the matter before he truly became wrapped up in his sadness and anger over everything. 

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while! I've been busy with college and Christmas but I hope to update at least once a week from now on! Hope you all have a wonderful New Year! -Jessica