ive lived in Washington for three months now, three months without hearing anything from harry. not one word, or text or call. nothing if it wasn't for the pictures and the heaviness of my chest when I thought f him you'd think that he was only some figment of my imagination. I had called several times. I've even called Anne still nothing. all I wanted was to know what he has been up too. to keep my mind off of him kims been helping, she encouraged me to go on dates with spencer, which we've now been on several none of them feeling right but he was nice and never tried to get much out of me when I got quiet which I have no idea why he continues to be so nice and keeps taking me on dates when im just distant and quiet for most off it even though on the last couple of dates ive kind of opened up. only because the idea of harry coming back is far from realistic. I have to admit that too myself. spencer hasn't tried to even hold my hand let alone kiss me, yet he does such romantic things. our dates were to the movies or to dinners and hed always pay for everything , he was what every girl would want in a boyfriend but I didn't want him at all. I felt so bad for him because you could tell how much he liked me. he asked me out for our usual kind of date night.
I was getting ready he sad it was a surprise and to dress casual, I threw on my university sweater and a pair of light colored skinny jeans before I knew it spencer was outside of the house in his car.
"so youre gonna tell me now where were going right?" I said he shook his head.
"fine then." I said pouting.
"don't you dare pout at me like that." I made it more obvious and he shook his head laughing.
"youre cute you know that." I looked out the window and smiled slightly. it feels different when he says it , just doesn't feel as good.
"we are here." spencer said the car going to a stop in front of a giant field I looked out into the field and saw lanterns along with a picnic basic and blanket it was the perfect sight.
"spencer you didn't need too do this really." I said he smiled at me and I returned it.
"but I wanted too." we walked out to the middle of the field where the blanket was and I layed down looking up at the stars as spencer ate some of the fruit he brought.
"its so beautiful out." I noticed him watching me from the corner off my eye. he doesn't break his glance.
"it is isn't it." I sat up eating one of the strawberries out of the tray he was holding.
"I know this may seem kind of rushed but ive never felt so ggod about this before. casey will you go out with me , lke not just a date but be my girlfriend." I stopped chewing my strawberrie and swallow it his expression changes when I don't answer. I felt so bad .
"yes sure, ill date you spencer. " his smile came back and he tackled me onto the blanket hugging me I laughed and for a minute everything about spencer and I felt right. we finished the date and I helped spencer pack everything. once he dropped me off he walked me back to the front step, where I got really nervous my last kiss was with harry before I boarded the plane and something deep down inside me told me I wanted it to stay that way much longer. my thinking was pushed away when I noticed spencer was leaning in, instead of him planting a kiss on my lips he kissed my forehead and looked down at me .
"thank you, for tonight ." he said I nodded and he turned to walk away.
"goodnight babe." he said I waved him off slipping threw the door. I layed against the door once I shut it slipping down to the bottom of it and felt myself drained no more tears to cry, but somehow I feel myself crying . I took out my phone wanting to call harry, but guess against it. instead I went threw the old pictures on my phone ones of harry and I at the beach when we were at grad party drunk, there were some from when I first got my phone and ones that were silly and some other ones that were a little scandelas and flooded meomries back that hurt more then anything. I decided it was best to go see what kim was doing walking upstairs I saw she was tudying on her bed.
"howd the date go ?" she asked me I shrugged.
"were dating now." I said plainly
"WHAT?"
"I know he looked so sad when I didn't say anything I just couldn't bare it yanno?" she shook her head.
"maybe this is whats best for you he treats you really good." I nodded
"well im really tired im gonna hit the hay."
"night sleep tight no sneaking mr boyfriend in the house." I rolled my eyes.
"oh yes." I said she laughed and I slumped don to my bed that was down the hall. I felt like I couldn't sleep but instead I went threw my photo album from senior year that felt like just happened yesterday instead of months ago. I needed to stop doing this too myself.
Harrys good for me , I mean spencer , spencer's good for me. I layed down on my bed before I pasted out . I felt my phone vibrate but it was private caller so I shrugged it off and went back too sleep.
