--May 25---
Change of events.
I guess my story doesn't end.
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Kaito married me at the school carnival today. Should I have been happy...? I feel conflicted.
According to Ted... Kaito is a sweet guy who cares, but just doesn't know how to express his feelings.
When Ted first told me that Kaito wanted to marry me, I doubted him. Why would Kaito want to have anything to do with ME? But now that I have had a few hours to think about it.. I think I understand now.
Ashley and Michelle tried to convince me into doing the marriage, and I admit that they really helped.
...Kaito didn't ask anyone else, did he? He asked... me.
I wondered if it was only because I cried yesterday. When I found out about him and Neru, I was bitter. Frustrated. Jealous, overwhelmed, hurt... the list was long.
I want to talk to Kaito. I want to let him know what I'm thinking.
I want... him.
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--May 30---
We're spending this week on living biographies at school. I presented mine the other day, so I pulled a chair up to my usual seat next to Kaito.
Leon talked about Elvis, Miki depicted some baseball guy, and Teto did a convinving show of Coco Chanel. After she talked though, I couldn't focus.
I was playing with a hole in the sleeve of Kaito's sweatshirt. He had let me borrow it yesterday. As Cristian walked to the front of the room while we applouded for Teto, Kaito pressed his knee onto my leg. I didn't move.
My had was slighlty touching Kaito's leg from it's spot on my knee. "Babe Ruth" (Cristian) began to tell us about his life. As Cristian droned on, Kaito inched his hand closer.
I felt the heat of his fingers on mine.
Kaito and I stayed that way for a while. My fingers hooked around his- we were not holding hands, really, but somewhere in between. I couldn't look in his direction.
The speeches eventually ended. Kaito pulled himself awayy. He looked at the ground, his face in his hands. What was he thinking? I couldn't tell.
To be honest, I didn't know how to feel either. I thought he didn't care about me the way I do about him. But at the same time, those twelve minutes of dull speeches and close contact got me begging for more.
