New Beginnings | Joshler

Chapter 6

Tyler's P.O.V
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During the movie I couldn't stop thinking about Josh. Does he like me as more than a friend? Does he want to date? Are we on a date right now? I thought about all these questions for so long that I wasn't even paying attention to the movie.

That was until Josh laid his hand on my thigh. "You ok?" My heart was racing. "Yeah." I spoke. I tried my hardest not to blush but failed miserably. Hopefully he doesn't notice. If he ever finds out how I feel about him then he might get mad or even leave the band completely. That would suck to be a one man band (Brendon Urie)

Either way, I can't say anything to him about it. He has his life and I have my own, meaning I shouldn't do anything to change him. Now that we're taking a break from touring and music we can do whatever we like meaning Josh can do things he couldn't while on tour such as getting a dog.

Another thing Josh said he could never do on tour was date which was why he had broken up with Debby. The time when Debby and Josh dated was not a good one. I had cried myself to sleep every night thinking that I wasn't good enough for Josh. Thinking that I didn't have a purpose in life.

Even thinking about Josh dating someone made my blood boil. One thing I had noticed though was that we sat in the back row at the movie theater which is usually where couple's sit. Was Josh trying to show me something or did he simply want to sit in the back?

"Are you gonna drop me off or do you wanna stay a bit with me? I have some ice cream at home if you would like some dessert." Josh spoke. "When do I not want ice cream?" I joked which caused Josh to smile. Josh's smiles were contagious, they light up the whole world and make everything seem alive.

After a few more minutes of silence we made it to Josh's house. I parked the car and both of us went inside of his beautiful home. As we walked into the living room I could instantly smell Josh's scent which smelled like pine mixed with his cologne. And it smelled wonderful.

"Take a seat on the couch, I'll get us a bowl of ice cream." Josh spoke and I nodded. A few minutes later Josh came out of the kitchen with two bowls of ice cream containing whipped cream and chocolate syrup. "Josh, this looks amazing. Thank you."

Josh smiled and his eyes met mine. His eyes were like chocolate with a deep brown rim around the iris. I often kept my gaze away from his eyes but when I was brave enough to meet them a shiver of golden light would race down my spine. I would stare into his eyes all day if I could but that would be a very creepy thing to do, especially since he's my best friend.

As Josh was handing me my bowl of ice cream, our hands touched which made me go red. My blush seared through my cheeks and for a minute I thought my face was on fire. If Josh hadn't noticed my blushing all day he definitely noticed it now. I could see his eyes staring at my cheeks, then to my eyes, then to my cheeks again.

I was worried he would think I was stupid for blushing at our slight contact but to my relief he didn't say anything. I akwardly took a few bites of ice cream as Josh did the same. All this tension was ruining the pleasant evening for both of them and Tyler felt guilty.

The silence of the room made his blood as cold as the air that crept through the open window. Tyler hated the akward silence between the two but just as he was about to say something, Josh spoke up.

"So Tyler, do you have any plans for the break? Any girls?" He emphasized the word girls and playfully nudged my side. I akwardly laughed, wondering if he was serious. Even though I've been trying to hide my crush on him I still think it's slightly obvious that I like him as more then a friend.

"I've actually been thinking of dating again, especially since we can do whatever we want." I replied. This was a lie though. I can't imagine dating anyone other then Josh. I think of him as my soulmate, two halves of a puzzle that only fit with each other and no one else. After all, I wouldn't be alive without Josh. He's my everything.

After I told him that I was thinking about dating I swear I saw a look of hurt behind his eyes. His grin  faltered a bit but it was quickly replaced with a smile that seemed so genuinely sweet that an unexpected warmth rushed through me. For a second I almost believed that it was a real smile but I could tell it was forced.

I changed the subject, not wanting to hurt him anymore. For the next half hour we talked and laughed and just enjoyed each other's company. It was nice to talk about something other then music and tour plans which is what we've been doing for the past few months.

"Can I ask you a question?" Josh asked randomly. "Yes?" I replied, slightly excited that he was going to say something about our relationship. "Can you play piano for me?" I chuckled and nodded. "Of course." Josh had a piano in his living room that was put there just for me.

I walked over to the piano stool and sat down. I started thinking of what song to play when Josh walked over and sat beside me. It was a random gesture but it was comforting. Because the stool was so small, Josh's whole right side was pressed against me. It startled me for only a moment but I quickly regained myself and began playing Truce.

As soon as I played the first few notes I could see Josh smiling besides me. I know he loves this song which is why I chose it. His smile shined like the stars in the sky, with no bright city lights to dim them. It was like the sun opened its eager light to shine about him, brightening his beautiful face.

"Now, the night, is coming to an end."

I began singing the familiar song. It had been a nice day hanging out with Josh. Going to the movies, having dinner, eating ice cream. I don't think it could get any better. At least that's what I thought until Josh rested his head against my shoulder and I smiled for the millionth time today.

After I finished the song I thought Josh was going to get up but he stayed still which took me by surprise. I looked down and noticed he was sleeping. The innocence showed on his face, the peaceful dreams blocking out reality. The soft breathing making the world seem to stand still.

I sat there and stared at Josh for what seemed like eternity. I studied his facial features and admired everything about him. Without even realizing it I found myself staring at his lips. They were pale pink, much like a rose bud. The top lip was thinner, but not to thin, and it had a natural cupids bow; the bottom was larger and more plush.

I shook my head at my thoughts. What am I doing? No one thinks about their best friends like this, do they? But in my defence, not every best friend is an actual angel like Josh.

As much as I would've liked to stare at Josh all night long, I had to wake him up so I gently shook his arm and he slowly opened his eyes. "I think it's time you go to bed." I said softly. He mumbled something but I couldn't understand what he had said. "What?" I asked.

"Can you tuck me in?" I chuckled at his cuteness. "C'mon." I motioned for him to get up and he obliged. I helped Josh get to his bedroom and layed him down. "Tyler, it's midnight. It's dangerous outside. Do you wanna just stay here?"

I was shocked at the question. Josh wants me to stay the night? I guess it would be nice to not have to drive home. "Yeah, sure. Should I just take the guest room?" He stared at me for a moment as if he didn't like the idea of me using his guest room. "Or I could sleep in here." I blurted out. I hadn't meant to say that, it just came out.

He nodded. "I've got plenty of room." He pat the area next to him on the bed and I took that as a sign to lay next to him. I walked over and got underneath the covers. "Goodnight Tyler." Josh said after turning off the lights. "Goodnight Josh." I replied.

Laying next to him made me realize how insanely in love I am am. He never leaves my mind, he's always there; mentally if not physically. He's my one stable force, my one stability in a world filled with chaos. I love him so much for that. Some time ago I slipped my hand into his pocket and gave him my heart. And there it will stay, safe and sound.