****COMPLETED*****Will I Ever Be Enough? (ryan sitkowski)

a fucking update

Jj's pov 4 months later

Remember when Ryan asked me if we could be friends or go slow or something that day? Well it never actually happened. He came over that day and left before I got home. We haven't spoken since. Not a call or text. Anything. It pissed me off especially since he begged me to be in his life and then kissed me and made it seem as if he cared. I know it's stupid that I'm upset about this 4 months later but I liked him. I actually liked him and it fucking sucks man.

I was editing a YouTube video and waiting for heath to get home from work. Which means he was with Ryan which also means I get to hear about Ryan and honestly my life would be so much better without ever hearing that name again.

Once I finished editing my video and uploading it heath came barreling in the door with his girlfriend Emma and all of motionless. I quickly put my laptop down and retreated to my room before anyone even noticed I was home. I started to panic. If Ryan was with them it means of have to see him. I heard voices out there everyone but Ryan's voice. I know how I said earlier that my life would be better without ever hearing his name again but that's a lie. Truthfully if he told me he wanted me right now I would be his.

I decided to suck it up and go out there. Chances are ryan isn't even here and I'll get to see the rest of the motionless boys. I changed out of my shorts and t-shirt into some leggings and a hoodie, checked my makeup. Sprayed some perfume and walked out of my room into the kitchen and then to the living room.

"Hey jj!!" Heath yelled over everyone talking. The room went silent and everyone looked at me

"Hey guys" I said scanning the room.

And there he was. Ryan. Sitting in the recliner. Not saying a word. Just starting at me

Balz, funny and the rest of the boys besides ryan all said hi and resumed their conversation. I grabbed a water and my lighter and a cigarette and headed outside to light it.

As I lit my cigarette someone opened the sliding glass door. I didn't look at who it was. I just continued to smoke and look at the stars.

"Hey jj" the voice said. It wasn't Ryan's and I felt relieved

I turned and saw it was ricky. Thank god

"Hey Rick. Come have a seat" I said exhaling the smoke.

He sat down next to me and lit a cigarette

"So what's up dude how's it been. " I said turning to him. Hiding the hurt in my voice.

"Eh. It's been whatever. Howve you been kid?"he asked while putting his free arm on the length of the porch swing.

"Same old same old. I hit a million on YouTube lately which I know is lame to you but it's pretty big to me. " I said smiling.

"That's not lame at all. That's amazing " he exclaimed and hugged me

"I'm so proud of you" he said

"Thank you so much. " I giggled.

"So. Elephant in the room that I HAVE to bring up or else it might eat me alive " said ricky

"What's that" I asked blowing smoke out and looking down. I knew what he was about to ask. We both knew

"Ryan. What happened between you two?"he asked

"Last time I checked your buddy Ryan decided I wasn't worth a call or a text message or anything. He ruined Whatever "this" was. Which would be fine if I could get the image of his stupid smile out of my head " I said.

Ricky laughed and patted my knee after putting out his cigarette

"You know he's like. Head over heals for you right?" He said