****COMPLETED*****Will I Ever Be Enough? (ryan sitkowski)

rad

Jjs pov

It's been a few days since the Ryan incident. Tonight Chris is throwing a party and I don't know how to feel about it.

I mean it's one thing for me to see Ryan before. But now that he knows I still care, Will he use it to his advantage to break me again?

"Richaaaaardddd!!!!!"I screamed

"Jesus what the fuck. what?!?!?!?!" Ricky said barreling down the hall into my room

I sat on my floor with clothes everywhere

"I need help" I pouted

"Yes. Mental help. Jesus Christ Josh you scared the shit out of me"he said breathing heavily and clutching his chest.

I dramatically fainted onto my clothes and covered my face with a few shirts

"I don't know what to weaaaaar" I said whining like a child

Ricky just chuckled at me 

"How do you expect me to know???"He asked

I sat back up and squinted my eyes at him while pouting.

"Is Ryan going tonight??"I asked

"Yes, weirdo. Why wouldn't he be?" Ricky said.

I pouted again and looked down

"What happened the other night to make you so weird?"Ricky asked.

"Ugh. " I said getting up and grabbing a t-shirt from the clothes mountain I created in my room

"Turn around I need to change " I said.

Ricky turned around

"So basically I do this stupid ass spoken word shit sometimes right? Anyway so he heard me when I was telling you and he showed up"I said while putting on a black bralette and a H.I.M t-shirt

"Okay. But why are you being weird"he asked.

"Because richard " I said

"Hey. Don't call me Richard, josh" he said chuckling a bit. "Because why though?"

"Because the piece was about him. "I said pulling on some black skinny jeans with rips in the knees. "Okay turn around"

"You're still not getting to the weird part " he said crossing his arms

"Do I look okay?"I asked looking at myself in the mirror

"You look great Jj, stop avoiding the question"Ricky said

"I mean should I layer??? A flannel maybe?"I said avoiding him still.

"Josh !!!!"he yelled

I sighed heavily and walked over to my desk and handed him a paper with what I said about Ryan on it.

I sat on my bed and began to put on socks and some black creepers.

I sprayed some perfume and touched up my makeup again

"Okay... And we have weird "ricky said. "Well not weird just. Confusing. Do you still love ryan?"

"I love Chris. I do. But he's not Ryan. Ryan's the love of my life "I said sighing.

"Okay JJ. What you need to do is talk to Chris about this. You cannot lead him on"Ricky said.

"But is it leading him on when I know what I want and what I want is him?"I asked looking down

"No. But it is to not be honest about your feelings for tour ex boyfriend "he said

"You're right "I sighed and said like a defeated child.