The Proposal

Chapter 17

Emma didn't get a chance to talk to Henry about her possibly wanting a baby before they had to leave. Emma wanted to talk to Killian before anything, she needed his perspective. So, when they got back to Boston, Emma knew they had to talk about the future of their family. Killian laid on the couch and pulled her to sit between his legs. She leaned back against his chest and pulled his arms around her.

"Kil.. I want to talk about something." She said softly.

"Aye, Love.. You can tell me anything. What's wrong?" He rubbed his thumb against her hip soothingly.

"I.. I want to talk about us having children." She said softly. "I know how badly you want to be a dad, to have a baby with me.." She turned to look at him a little.

He brushed her hair back. "I have thought about it, Love.. But it's not the end of the world. I just want to hear your side, and your fears or anything. What are you scared about?"

"I.. I'm worried that.. That if I had another baby and kept it, that Henry wouldn't want to be around me anymore.." She admitted softly. "I feel guilty for wanting another baby.." She sighed.

"Oh, Love.." He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I don't want you to feel guilty.. But if I learned anything about Henry while he was visiting us, it's that he's just excited and happy that he gets to know you.. The lad is not going to be upset that you have another baby. He's a very smart boy, and he understands why you gave him up."

She sighed. "But.. I'm nervous.. What if I'm not going to be a good mom.. When I've been with Henry he was already grown up. I've never had to care for a baby, I just.. I'm scared Killian. I gave up my son, doesn't that already make me a bad mom?"

"Love, I'm scared as well. It doesn't make you a bad mom, I believe it makes you a good mom. You wanted him to have what you couldn't provide him. But I know that we can do this, as long as we do it together. If one of us doesn't want it completely, then we shouldn't have a baby." He brushed his fingers through her hair. "I love you, and you're everything to me."

She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers in her hair. "I.. Can I have more time? I want to give you the family I know you've always wanted, Killian.. I really do, but I just want to want it too. I'd do it just to make you happy, but you deserve to have kids with a woman who wants them just as much as you do."

"Take all the time you need, Emma. We've got time to think about it. We've only been married a few months." He kissed her temple. "And I want you, if we don't have children I'll still be happy just because I get to spend my life with you."

She pulled his arms tighter around her waist. "Thank you." She whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, Gorgeous." He said softly. "I'd do anything for you, my love." He squeezed her waist gently and kissed the crown of her head.

Even after their talk, Emma was still unsure about everything. She knew that while he would be upset for a little while, he would never leave her if she told him she didn't want any more kids. She knew he loved her more than anything, the past few months had been enough proof of that for her.

They talked about expanding their family many times over the next six months. Emma was still battling with her past and a guilty feeling, and Killian was patient and understanding with her each time. Emma could feel herself liking the idea more and more as she admitted her fears to him. Until right before Christmas, when she started to feel under the weather.

Christmas was the next time Killian and Emma were able to visit Storybrooke. Mary Margaret insisted that Liam, Elsa and the kids join them as well, so the entire Jones family made their way to Maine.