Cycle 3, day whatever
Chemo sucks. I've lost all my hair. But to be honest, I think losing my hair is the least of my problems. Because of chemo, I have mouth sores in my mouth, and even my throat. It hurts to even drink water. Ever had a sore throat? Yeah. It's like that, but on top of that, it burns like crazy. Also, I am so tired all the time. Sometimes, sitting up is really hard for me. I need help to even go to the bathroom. It sucks. I am completely dependent on other people now; and sometimes, it's really hard to ask others to do stuff for me.
Chemo has also made me so nauseous all the time. They give me anti-nausea medicine, but to me, it seems like they hardly do anything. Sometimes, just turning my head a different direction makes me want to puke. Loud voices? Nausea. Strong smells? Nausea. Sudden movements? Nausea. Bright lights and movements on a screen? Nausea. I've spent many nights in the washroom just puking for hours and hours. At the end, I'm usually dry heaving and gagging because there is nothing left for me to throw up. My parents, siblings, and close friends hug me, pat my back, and keep me comfortable. But I know seeing me like this makes them feel so helpless. And in a way, I feel helpless as well, because there is nothing I can do to ease the pain for all of us.
I'm trying my best to be okay. But I'm not okay. It's been almost a month, and I still can't believe this is happening all over again. I hate how this affects not just me, but everyone around me. When I'm in pain, it hurts them too.
I try my best to stay positive during this entire thing. I try my best to stay strong when it's really tough. But everything hurts. My chest, my throat, my mind, everything. Everything is so sore. I don't know what to do.
YOU ARE READING
My Ongoing Cancer Story
RandomRelapsed with leukemia. Currently undergoing treatment. I will be using this book as a place where I can write down things during my cancer journey; and one day, hopefully look back at this, and see how far I've come.
