In a Middleton shopping centre with loads of shopping out of business. I go through these doors with mum but she's not really my mum
I remember her as I wish to
An outline of my mum I never see her face but she feels like a mum I guess
Sher wears her perfume
In a brown trench coat
We see a lady
the shopping mall isn't abandoned but full of open shops like a market mostly clothing stores
ZARA
Massive lane on both sides takes up a lot of space
Pink lights on display against mahogany wood
FASHION
BASIC
"My daughter loves Zara" She says
" of course she would she's that type of girl" says I "I knew shed love shops like that"
We all laugh
"Why don't you like their clothes??" The lady asks
"Nay" I say "I prefer Urban outfitters, But I'm too poor for that"
Laughter again
1. Don't remember but I see the old house maids who took care of me
In the garden at night
Mum Ainsley Georgia (nursery) another black lady with amazing eyebrows
Eating fish pie and pork pies
I see the dead maid but I can't speak to her
She's black obviously
Thicc
She's just stood there but the woman sat next to me speaks to her and I'm confused
2. Mum is running around and takes me through a white door that opens both ways
It swings
Past a group of guys
Hooligans I suppose
And end up in an abandoned furniture store I'm Middleton centre
I used to have dreams of a centre like it but I never went into the store at the bottom
Card factory?? Or toy store
Maybe I went in once
It was red and blue with tinsel everywhere
Why can't I go in that store
This furniture store is like a dinning room it's big
I think to my self "look at all these fancy ash trays. She'd like some cross between a fish and an armadilo. I'll buy one when I'm rich"
I watch too much Downton Abbey
I wonder why mum never wants to explore the abandoned stores why she NEVER turns around
The mall is more golden art deco style now
I see Cynthia but a younger version of her I suppose it's not her at all
We walk out the building into the garden again
Night
The same scene from one but this time I'm the lady next to gets out some pork pies wrapped in cling film she starts to press to hard she closing them
I let Woa hold on let me take a pie
The ghost if the old maid is back but I can talk to her
She look normal not dead but I knew she was t human like myself
She says she's here to say goodbye and keeps saying she doesn't deserve goodbyes something about not being good enough
I think only us two can see her
She takes a tuna pie
"Why don't you deserve it"
"Just don't" She elaborates more but I don't remember
We get emotion Georgia speaks to me
Ghost maid says "I'm glad I spent these years with you. You were a great child...."
I begin to cry still eating my pork pie
We say why are you doing this
She can't remember why she's back
I start to cry "then you don't deserve you amazing brows" we say
Maybe the woman next to me a part of dead maid the confident extroverted part of her spirit
Tuna pie is more relaxed emotional introverted maybe
Tuna pie makes me cry
I beg her not to go
She keeps eating the pie and choked a little
Then everyone try to stifle the laughs
They know she's there hmmmm.
Pretenders
I laugh with teary eyes
"Can I have some juice. This pie is thicc"
We all breakout into laughter
Mournful music starts playing tuna pie says goodbye
I really don't want her to go
Why can't I let her go
She says she's in a better place now
Somehow I don't believe it
I wake up crying a lot
I'm grieving something unexplained
Subconscious
Who were me and "mum" searching for
I know we were looking for someone but who and why I'm always chasing someone in a shopping mall dream
Why
She had long black hair
I'll never know
