save me | p.jm

twenty five

I cursed repeatedly, rummaging Jiyeon's room to look for the contract I signed in stating that I'm agreeing to take the operation. I groaned, almost turning her room upside down to look for. I was growing impatient and nervous.

"What the hell, just show up." I huffed in the air, checking under the covers and also the cabinets. I checked under the bed and it wasn't there.

I raked my hair with my hands and pulled handful of it, losing control because of the possibilities that someone threw it away while cleaning, thinking that it was just an ordinary paper.

"What are you doing?" I heard Jiyeon's shaky voice from the door, I looked upon her and she was looking different. My artificial heart started beating faster and faster.

I decided to lie but then my mind is blank to think of, "Uh, looking for something." I simply said and scanned under the pillows.

"Do you mean this?" she demanded, a hint of disappointment on her tone that made me even more nervous about it.

I slowly turned and gasped when she's holding the contract I signed in.

Her lips quivered and I can tell that she's about to cry which will hurt me to see because she knew the truth, "Is it this?"

I looked down to my feet, realizing that I'm messed up. I slowly nodded and I felt a tear escaped from one eye.

Her face softened, tears flowing endlessly from her eyes. She dropped to her knees causing the paper to flew in front of me.

Wordless, my tear dropped on the paper, I picked it up and knelt beside her. She continued on crying, I felt myself growing upset and sad about it.

"W-Why? W-Why did you do t-that? I have n-nothing else here.." she said between sobs that made me cry also, I slipped an arm around her to comfort her.

"I'm sorry..."

"Saying that won't make everything okay! Your session ends tomorrow and I'm all alone again!"

I felt myself screaming words that I never said to her, "I know that, that's why I'm apologizing in advance."

"I don't care! All I wanted to know is why did you do that!?"

I felt silent, unable to answer her question.

She looked upon me with pity on her eyes, "Tell me!"

"IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, OKAY? I'M WILLING TO SAVE YOU EVEN THOUGH IT COSTS MY LIFE! I BARELY CARED FOR MYSELF BECAUSE I CARED FOR YOU!"

She flinched at my tone, I didn't realize that I've been yelling at her unintentionally. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Look, you may have lost half of everything and tomorrow I'll be gone. . . But please, I did that to remain on your heart — my heart — forever."

"My point is, whenever you are, I'll be there who is in your heart, beating for your life."

I thought that can make her understand but she rose to her feet and left without a word, I felt myself being guilty for not saying sooner.

I sighed, just like the scene from then. I ran after her.

I ran quicker than ever even though that I can feel the heart getting weaker since today is nearly the last day of my life.

I panted and grabbed my chest, "Don't break please, this is my last moment of chasing after her." I said between breaths.

When I felt the heart calming, I run as fast as I could, ignoring my weakness.

Ignoring the pain throbbing on my chest.