Disconsolate A.I

Chapter one: No sleep

I wake up to the alarm blaring at me and all that is getting me out of bed is the fact that it's Friday. My head is throbbing and my eyes are heavy due to the lack of sleep I got last night thanks to my favorite book, The Glass Castle. I slowly make my way to my bathroom and groan when I see my appearance. The usual, makeup under my eyes, hair in all different directions, and clothes that are a wrinkly mess. I decide that due to my lack of sleep, today my hair will be in a bun, and I will be wearing a sweatshirt.

I walk outside and a breeze of cold air hits my face and I see that snow has blanketed the ground. I really do hate Colorado and how it snows so much, especially that my piece of shit I call a car can barley drive in this weather.

When I arrive at school I see my friends all waiting for me in the usual spot, by the art room, and join them in whatever stupid conversation they're having. "So Rylee are you planning on coming with us to the party tonight?" Chloe asks.

"Sure I have nothing better to do." I answer truthfully.

"Great me and some of the other girls are getting ready at my place be there around nine."

I nod as a response and she walks away with a few other girls. To be honest I don't like any of my "friends", they're all whores who smoke pot, have sex, and get drunk every weekend. But then again I'm not much better than any of them.

The rest of the school day goes by terribly slow, and I cannot wait to get home and go to sleep. When I finally do, my dad is still at work so I head up into my room. I climb onto my bed, get under the covers, close my eyes, and let the quiet surround me until it's interrupted by my phone ringing.

"Hi honey it's dad I'm going to be home late so don't wait up." My dad says

"Okay, I'm going out with friends anyway." I reply slowly

"Alright be careful I love you."

"Bye dad." And with that I hung up and threw my phone so it is laying on the floor next to my bed.

I never really cared that much for my dad and after my mom died we only talk occasionally about simple things. He doesn't know the type of person I truly am, and I'm comfortable that way, because if he really knew me he would have many more problems to deal with than what he has now.

I do a lot of bad things, drink, smoke, fuck, and self harm. No one knows about the self harming part so it's okay, I mean the guys I've slept with have noticed but I always would make up some bullshit like "it was the cat" or "I fell into a bush" and they always seemed to brush it off. I used to do it every night, I'd be crying, then I would start hearing the voices in my head telling me to do it or telling me I was worthless and no one would care. But now I just really do it to feel only the blade sliding across my skin and nothing else.

---

I wake up to hear my phone ringing and quickly answer it.

"Hey we're all ready and because you never showed up to get ready with us, we're picking you up so be ready in ten, bye" Chloe speaks into the phone.

I check the time to see that it is nine forty five and cuss at my self for falling asleep.

I quickly brush my hair out, get on a tank top and high wasted shorts and decide I look decent enough for this stupid party.

When Chloe arrives in her range rover I roll my eyes at how she's a high school student and has such a nice car. I squeeze in next to a girl with bleach blonde hair, fake boobs, terrible smelling perfume, and it takes everything in me not to vomit on her poor excuse for a shirt.

When we arrive at the party, it looks like it has been going on for hours due to the mess of red cups, people, and vomit. We all jump out of the car and head towards the huge house. Once we are inside I immediately head to the kitchen to get a drink. Two people are sucking each other's faces off, and I push past them to grab a beer. I make my way towards the living room when a tall figure runs into me and makes me spill my drink.

"Hey watch where you're going you creep." I bite at him

He quickly turns around a smile appears on his face.

"Can you move?" I ask annoyed.

"No."

"What do you mean no?" and try to push past him again.

"I mean no." And moves infront of me so I cannot get out.

I sit there in silence waiting for him to get bored and leave.

"So, I'm Sam." He smirks

"I don't care. Will you fucking move?"

"How about when you tell me your name."

"Yeah I have a boyfriend you dick." I lie.

"No you don't I see you at school and I've seen you at these parties you definitely don't have a boyfriend."

"You're a fucking creep." At this point I'm completely disgusted by this guy so I do the first thing that comes to my mind. I knee him in the balls. He crouches over and groans in pain while I sneak past him and into the living room to where my friends are.

"Where have you been?" Chloe screams over the music.

"This creep tried to hit on me and told me he 'observes' me"

"Ew, was he at least cute?"

"Definitely not." I lie.

"That sucks" she laughs.