Crack One-Shots

Supernatural

This is just something I wrote back in late October, about a very strange supernatural Halloween because why not.

~

"How did the bones cross the street?" Gabriel asked, looking at one of the pieces of Laffy Taffy in his hand and smirking like an idiot.

Sam groaned. It seemed like Gabriel had gotten at least fifty Laffy Taffies trick-or-treating this year (yes, Gabriel apparently goes trick-or-treating) since the awful jokes hadn't stopped for the past fifteen minutes.

"They didn't! the dog-" Gabriel began the punch line, but Sam ended up smacking the candies from his grasp.

"STOP." Sam begged, but Gabriel only grinned wider.

"I told you, Samquatch, I'll stop if you just eat /one/ piece of candy." Gabriel replied.

"We've been over this. I am not going to-"

"What kind of tea is hard to swallow?" Gabriel cut off the Winchester. He didn't even wait for Sam's response this time before adding, "REALI-T E A!"

Sam had his face in his hands now. It was clear Gabriel wouldn't leave him alone. "C'mon, Sammy, it's just a chocolate bar." Dean butted in, having come out of his room to the main area of the bunker to see this, and laughing along with Gabriel.

The archangel looked to Sam, outstretching an arm that held a Snickers bar.

Suddenly interested, Jack walked in and snatched the candy bar from the archangel's grasp, because he likes nougat.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT- GIVE ME MY CANDY BACK!" Gabriel shouted as the nephilim ran away with the Snickers, quickly followed by Gabriel.

"Kids these days. I can't believe this is what my family has come to." Chuck appeared by the entrance and walked down the stairs. "Caramel is clearly way better than nougat. What is he thinking?"

Jack stopped running, whirling around to face his grandfather. His eyes turned yellow and everything began shaking and shouting how nougat was better.

"Son of a bitch-" Dean muttered as everyone hid and Chuck suddenly flew against a wall. Well, he couldn't say he didn't have it coming after everything.

"Jack, what do you think you're doing?" Castiel scolded after arriving back at the bunker after being dead for about a month. Upon his entrance, the force pushing Chuck toward the wall stopped, and he quickly fell hard onto the floor. Jack still breathed heavily, still as angry as before.

"He said caramel is better than nougat. I will not stand for this." The nephilim replied, beginning to walk toward Chuck. It took the force of everyone there (two hunters, two angels, and to keep Jack from him.

"You know what, Jack, you should keep that Snickers. Eat it now. Because you're not you when you're hungry." Gabriel offered, unwrapping the Snickers for him.

"Wasn't that on an advertisement? I feel as if I've heard that before. Perhaps it was during my two-week television marathon after Dean instructed me on how to use Netflix..." Cas pondered, tilting his head.

Nobody really listened to the angel's tangent. Instead, they watched as Jack took a grateful bite from the chocolate and smiled.

"Better?" Dean asked, having seen those dumb commercials and just going with it at this point.

"Better." Jack answered, nodding. His face went back to a menacing look for a moment to say to Chuck, "Nougat is still better though."

That's how Chuck learned not to mess with his grandson. Ever.

"Well, that was quite the experience, and that was all fine and dandy, but Sam still hasn't held up his end of the candy deal." Gabriel reminded, pulling out another piece of Laffy Taffy. "What does a ghost drink at a bar?-"

"Screw you, Gabriel." Sam cut him off.

"Gladly, top or bottom, Samaramadingdong?"

"Shut the hell up. You KNOW that's not what I mean!" Sam yelled, disgusted.

"Then just eat this uhhhh..." Gabriel paused, Jack having stolen the Snickers from before, and rummaged through the candy. He pulled out the first appealing thing he felt. "This Twix."

"Ugh, fine. Is it left or right?" The hunter groaned.

"Do you actually care?"

"Yes."

"Okay fine, it's left."

"Gross."

"BOO-ze!!" Gabriel rolled his eyes and delivered the answer to the joke from a few moments before, then threw a king-sized Kit-Kat bar at the younger Winchester.

"You're a giant idiot." Sam grumbled, glaring at the archangel in annoyance while picking up the chocolate.

"Are you going to eat the candy or not, you little shit?"