Crack One-Shots

Avengers

Based on a wonderful headcanon/inside joke that went way too far. One of a very extensive list. You don't want to know.

~

Tony sighed as he heard another of his expensive things break. Luckily it was only the microwave this time, but Thor proved himself unbearably destructive-- that was at least the third thing he had broken that week.
He made his way into the kitchen to find the remains of his microwave, which had exploded the way it does when metal is placed inside.
"What did you do this time?" Tony asked the God of Thunder, who stood in front of the mess.
"Well, I attempted to prepare a Midguardian snack in this bread-cooker-"
"Toaster, Thor. It's called a toaster."
"Toaster, right. Anyway, I attempted to cook some bread in the /toaster/..."
•
Thor stared down at the metallic machine on the counter. He had put in a slice of bread what seemed like ages ago, and he was waiting for it to pop up like he always saw.
"Why is this taking so long, puny bread-cooker? I could prepare a meal much faster than this!" The Asgardian shouted at the object, wondering if it would hear and somehow hurry up.
After a few more seconds, which felt like hours to the impatient god, Thor opened the door to the microwave behind him. That always seemed to cook things quickly to him.
He then shoved the entire metal thing into the microwave and closed the door again. He set the timer to a minute, but no more than a few seconds later, the entire thing was in flames. The machine which held his cooked bread was busted open, revealing a charred black piece of toast. Flames doused the area surrounding the microwave for a few seconds, but they quickly died out. Thor had no clue what had happened, but maybe that was normal?
Judging by the exasperated sigh from a few rooms over, probably not.
•
"Why would you put the toaster /in/ the microwave?" Tony sighed and informed Pepper that they would be needing a new microwave soon.
"The wretched thing was taking far too long!" answered Thor. "I simply could not wait any longer!"
"Well here's a tip, Thunderbolt, don't do that!" Tony stormed off with his hands rubbing his temples. He had already been in a bad mood and didn't want to deal with cleaning that up.
Thor turned back to the mess he created after he was gone. He plucked the burnt toast from the debris and popped a piece into his mouth. He shrugged and walked off with his snack as Tony prepared to spend a hundred dollars or so paying for Thor's ignorance. /Again/.