Alive (Book 1)

Three

“Dude, bro, can she stay? Please? I haven’t had food like this since my Grandma was still alive.”

“Yeah, man, this is stupid good.”

I smiled to myself as I emptied the last pan of eggs onto the plate, which was already loaded down with bacon, hash browns, and pancakes. So, maybe I was trying to bribe August into coming with me, but at this point, I would try anything.

“No,” August said, slouching into a chair as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “She can’t stay. I don’t even know why she’s fucking still here.”

“Oh, my God,” Kent spoke through a large mouthful. I had figured out that Kent was the stout one, while Jared was tall and gangly, but the kindest of the three. “Does it matter? I’ll pay her if she cooks all our meals.”

But August wasn’t impressed. His mouth pinched in at the corners, eyebrows dipping inward. “That’s what the dining hall is for, dumbass.”

“Sorry, can’t hear you over my chewing.”

“Go to hell.”

“If this bacon comes with me.”

A frustrated growl escaped August’s lips. “Ellie, can I talk to you, please?”

I wiped my hands on the backs of my pants and followed him out of the kitchen. He led me to his bedroom, where he cranked his hands up behind his head and released a long breath.

“You have to leave,” he said.

“I can’t,” I replied.

“Stop saying that. I’m sorry about what happened, and I hope it never does again, but the reality sucks, okay? Because it will. People will always die, and there will always be a bad guy, and that’s just life, okay?”

I stared at him, arms folded tight across my chest. “No,” I whispered.

“Ellie . . .”

“Your aunt died!” I screamed, feeling something within me snap and fall to pieces. “She died protecting me. Do you think I want to put somebody else in that kind of danger? Of course I don’t! But that’s my only option, here. It will be worse if there’s nobody; if I’m alone.”

He didn’t seem to realize how desperately I needed him to say yes. “I have class,” he stated, turning around so he didn’t face me. “You should leave.”

And so I did, angry beyond belief, too scared to completely leave the apartment building. I remained in the lobby, peeking out the window, paranoid that more Prophets were waiting around the corner, wanting to ambush me. Muffy was still alive, after all. And for some reason, no matter what I did or where I went, there would always be people like her hunting me down.

Because they didn’t understand. Me, the situation, what I could do . . . They didn’t understand any of it, and neither did the government. Neither did anybody who came to me claiming I could something great. That I could save the world.

I didn’t want to save the world.

Somehow, no matter who they were, whatever they wanted from me entailed murder. Whether the end results were good or bad, in between, somebody always had to die. And I didn’t want to be that.

I didn’t want to be a murderer.

And yet, look at me.

Because I already was.

~*~

Yale was a beautiful school. I found myself touring the campus, receiving more than one odd look, but not caring. The architecture was aweing and all the people bustling around was slightly uncomfortable but still so normal, and my heart ached that I would never be able to experience such raw normalness.