i love you so // Reddie Oneshots

"I fucking miss you, you asshole"

One lone night a year ago, Richie Tozier was sitting out on his front porch smoking a cigarette when he grabbed at his chest suddenly. The next thing he knew he was in the hospital and there was someone sobbing at his bedside. 

Richie Tozier was going to die, everyone knew, well everyone except Eddie Kaspbrak who was sitting at the edge of Richie's hospital bed hoping for a miracle. Eddie didn't know when he started crying but as soon as he started, he was unable to stop himself. Eddie couldn't seem to leave the room, except for going to the bathroom. His friends would bring him meals but he didn't really eat much, he was afraid that he wasn't going to see Richie conscious again. Eddie keep hoping and hoping that Richie would open his eyes and call him Eds and act like everything was okay. But everything wasn't okay.

Richie eventually did wake up for a little bed, but it was obvious to everyone that this would be the last time Richie would wake up, something inside Richie had already gave up. Before Richie fell asleep for good he had a conversation with the love of his life. "It's not fair 'Chee" Eddie had said as he held onto Richie's hand. Richie had simply sighed, "Bubba, I know it's not fair but there isn't anything we can do, just don't do anything stupid Eds". Eddie didn't even say don't call me Eds or anything, he just held and kissed his boyfriend for the last time. 

One hour later Richie had been officially announced dead due to a sudden major heart attack. Eddie didn't really remember anything after that. He just knew that for about a week he just sat in his room alone and tears running down his cheek while he clung to one of Richie's sweatshirts, begging for everything to have just been a dream and telling himself that Richie was still alive. The doctors never figured out the exact reason that Richie had a heart attack but they were sure it had something to do with all the damn cigarettes he always seemed to be smoking. Eddie had tried to get Richie to quit but didn't like the way Richie got without him, so he let them go back to using them. Richie had recently been smoking a lot more than he should've, basically finishing a box everyday, a sometimes a box and a half on the bad days.

Even though everyone assured him it wasn't, Eddie couldn't help but blame himself for Richie's death. If only he had been able to stop Richie from smoking so much. Eddie pretty much spent two months barely leaving his room, eating some days and other day completely forgetting to eat a single thing. Eventually his friends got him out of his house and back out into his usual routine, wake up, eat, go to school, hang with the losers, go home, eat, sleep. Eddie was at the point where everything was pretty pointless. Without Richie he didn't really see a point anymore. Some days he would have dreams about Richie and not be able to function at all. 

6 months after Richie's death, Eddie Kaspbrak stopped smiling. Everyone kept saying that eventually Eddie would feel better about the death but Eddie never did, everyday he was alive and Richie wasn't felt like a deeper and deeper stab in the heart. Eventually Eddie turned to alcohol to try and forget about everything but it just made everything worse, especially whenever he woke up in someone bed. Eddie would never get over Richie's death, and the rest of the losers knew that.

They all tried to help as much as they could but it was useless, Eddie had simply slipped away. Eddie was already dead on the inside, he was just waiting for something to come and collect his body. Sometimes he would do dumb things like lay in the road in the middle of the night or purposely walk into traffic, hoping for someone to finish him off, but nothing ever happened. 

Everyday was worse for Eddie and it was a matter of time until he finished himself off, and that is exactly what the young boy planned to do today, on the exact day when the love of his life had been taken away from him. Eddie was standing at the edge of the Kissing Bridge, the place where he and Richie had first kissed. As Eddie stood there, he started to think about all of his memories with his love.

"Hey Eds!" Richie had called, walking over to Eddie and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Eddie had rolled his eyes and said "Don't call me that asshole". Yet Richie had ignored him, quickly saying something that Eddie didn't quite catch. "Huh?" Eddie had said, Richie simply laughed saying, "I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies tonight, just you and me". Eddie had automatically agreed, he had had a crush on the boy forever and now it seemed as if he had a date with him, and that was exactly what it was meant to be.

It had been that night that Richie had kissed him on the Kissing Bridge, as he had been walking him back to his house. The kiss that only really lasted about a minute had seemed to last an eternity. Later, the two were back as Eddie's house, cuddling in Eddie's bed and Richie asked Eddie to be his boyfriend. To which Eddie had practically screamed yes as he buried his face in Richie's shoulder. That had been a great night for the both of them 

Eddie smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"Richie? Why do you smoke all the time", Eddie had asked once. "Shut up Eds." Richie had simply said. Eddie shut up, afraid of making Richie mad, he bit back tears. Richie had looked over at him and mumbled sorry, soon he poured out how his parents had been treating him lately and how he truly didn't want anything to do with any of his family. That had been the first time that Eddie had seen Richie cry. Around the time that Richie had passed, his family had only been harder on him.

Eddie let a tear drop into the rushing water below him as he thought about the last conversation he had had with Richie before the heart attack

"Eds, will you run away with me?" Richie had said suddenly. "Rich, you know we couldn't even if we wanted to" Eddie had replied with a small laugh. "I know, I know but if I left wouldn't you miss me?" Richie had said, puckering his lips. Eddie had scoffed and rolled his eyes at Richie's comment. "Eds! Wouldn't you miss me?".

Somewhere in his head Eddie heard that same voice talking to him from below right now, the water seemed to be calling to him.

"Wouldn't you miss me?"

"Don't you miss me Eds?"

Tears flowed down Eddie's cheeks 

"I fucking miss you , you asshole" he mumbled.

Eddie looked down at the water.

He stepped forward.

He felt a terrible pain as his body hit the water, and then he felt nothing.

Eddie opened his eyes, he saw the blurry outline of a boy with very familiar glasses.

"Eds?"

Richie