Behind The Scenes

Chapter One

     I've always wanted to act. I've always wanted to be on the big screen, be the one that people always remember. I've always wanted people to talk about me around the world, and to be known. It's a characteristic my dad always had, but never me.

     Of course, if I really wanted to, I could, but there is just something that tells me, "no".

     It's not that I can't act, it's that I can't act in front of people, and if you don't understand the art of acting, the whole point is to do it in front of people, to entertain people.

     One day my father, who just happened to be Bill Paxton, from the Titanic, Aliens, Twister, just to name a few,  took me to a play.

    I loved it.

     I was only eight years old at the time, but something told me that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

     Acting was my motivation.

     I told my dad about a year later that acting was what I really wanted to do.

     Why did I tell him this a year later? You may be asking yourself.

     I told him a year later because he always asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, but he asked in a different way. He asked me, "What did God design you to do when you grow up?"

     At first this questions seems simple, but if you answered his question right away, you have to have some evidence as to why you think that's what God wanted you to do.

     I didn't know how to answer his question the way both he and I wanted it answered. If I told him right after the play, he would ask me why, and I would say, "I don't know, it just seems fun". That answer would never do me any justice. I would have to give a good, logical answer as to why God would want me to act, and entertain.

     By the time I was nine, I finally came up with the answer he would want, and the answer I needed.

*flashback*

     "Hey dad, can I talk to you about something?" I enter the large kitchen, that has a white theme to it.

     Everything is white except the sink and appliances, which are metallic grey. I assume he is in the kitchen, because that's where he always is at 8:00 A.M.

     "Sure, what is it?" He says, not looking up at front he newspaper, in a passive aggressive tone which always frightens me, but I continue, despite my fear.

     "I know what I want, I mean, what God made me to be." I say standing with my hands held in front of me, with my back straight.

     "Yes?" He looks up at me as he sets the newspaper down on the table.

     "I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I know what it is." I say trying my best to sound adult-like.

     "And what is that?" He asks as the tension in the room neither excels or descends.

     "Acting." I take a deep breath afterwards as if it was a relief.

     "How so?" He keeps his calm and stays in the same position.

     "When we went to that play a year ago, God talked to me." I use my hands to help me explain, "He sent you, to have me watch that play. It happened for a reason, and every day I wake up wanting to be in front of that screen or on that stage, to entertain people, and show them God's love through."

*end of flashback*

     And that is how I was able to convince my dad. How ever in high school, that all changed. As soon as I got up in front of anyone, I would turn off, but I still loved the environment, and wanted to be apart of the production. 

     That's how I joined the crew. I worked back stage and helped making sets, do makeup, and loved it. But something inside me still wanted to be up on that stage.