Party Animals

before they fell

Alex

All great things come to end.

At least that's what I've always heard. I'd never believed it, because in truth, I had a lot of great things in my life that were still going strong. Of course, that could have changed at any second, but these were the type of things that felt permanent.

My friend group for instance? They'd never go anywhere. We'd been friends since we stepped foot into high school, and overcome our fair share of shit through the four years we'd become close. They were the type of people I wanted to spend forever with, and I knew that they felt the same.

We did everything together. Sage, Grayson, Aaron, Elizabeth, Ethan, Rhea and Jack were like me in every sense of spirit and I was beyond grateful that we had found our way to each other.

For a long time, I had faith in the thoughts that we'd make through anything that came our way. I mean, we survived that party, the one that blurred too many lines, and even though we just barely made it, we did. And that's what mattered. At least, I thought it did.

I didn't really think twice as Ethan bounded to our lunch table that day with rhea beside him, talking animatedly about some party that was happening. We were popular, so we tended to attend the ridiculous parties our peers threw, but we never stayed past safe times, or did things that we knew would evoke the same kind of energy that we had two years ago. It was hard to explain, but we just knew what was too much, and when we needed to leave somewhere, so things didn't end up like last time.

Except, there was something different about this one. Perhaps it was the argument I got into before or maybe the fact that this was known to be the second biggest party of the year, or maybe the universe was just tired of seeing just how much deception was between us, whatever the reason, it was different, and even though I felt it, I just kept it to myself in hopes that nothing bad would happen.

Looking back now though, I really wish that we had never stepped foot in that fucking house. The house that not only changed everything for us afterward, but destroyed us in ways I didn't think could ever be repaired. The party that ended the most complicated yet amazing 'relationship' I'd ever been in, fucked with my best friends' feelings completely, and made someone I love have to choose between people that should have never been options in the first place.

The cracks that already existed between us expanded until we fell through, and every feeling that had been hiding was out, loud and clear, whether we liked it or not.

There are so many things throughout the night I wish I could have changed, so many things I wish I could've controlled, but I know that nothing could've been done. This was our own fault- all of ours. We had let thing sit untouched for too long, and now it was coming back to haunt us.

We had gotten what had deserved for so long, and now, there was no stopping it.

Rhea

You know, if I had a dollar for all the times I had stopped to think, "my friends are fucking idiots," I'd be a god damn billionaire.

I didn't want to go to that stupid party, just like I hadn't really wanted to go to the first one. Parties and I never really got along, considering every time I stayed at one longer than an hour, something in my life got significantly fucked up.

When one of my idiot best friends said, "let's go to the beginning of the year bash," I rolled my eyes. I waited for the usual chorus of hesitation, but there wasn't any. Sage jumped at the chance, Elizabeth said there would be good food there, so she was down, Grayson (as usual) looked at me then looked away, agreeing almost immediately, Jack wanted to go for some unknown reason, and Ethan was the one who brought it up in the first place. The only one that had any inkling that this party seemed to be different than the others was Alex, but I knew he'd never say anything. I was all for telling people the flaws in their plans, but looking around the table I simply couldn't,

Now, though? I wish I had. I wish I had crushed their spirits to fucking dust because that dumb ass party royally fucked up everything between the people I was the closest with. Now we weren't talking, half of us couldn't do anything but cry and the words that echoed between us are ones we could never unhear.

I really wish we hadn't gone. When I met Ethan and Grayson, it was the first time I had felt like I had people who were there for me, through everything. Then came Alex and Aaron, whom I met through the twins, then Jack, Sage and Elizabeth. By the time halfway through freshman year arrived, I was completely convinced that these were the people I would be close with forever.

We had been through shitty things before, but none of them ever compared to this time. We had barely made it past the party that fucked us up, how could we have possibly survived this one? I broke three hearts in one night, one being my own, watched something special between two people I cared about deeply fall apart, watched secrets come into the open and said words I wished so desperately I could take back.

I had always been taught that trust is something special, but love is something that truly defines the essence of your being. I had never thought that things could fall apart if you loved hard enough, but my friends and I's demise was enough to make me think twice. We had it coming, but we ignored all the warning signs because knowing was not always living in, and if we didn't talk about it, it didn't have to exist.

We had been playing with fire for two years, ignoring the truth, and I knew it would backfire, but I never, ever thought it would burn this badly.

Now, the smoke between us was too thick, too dense, and the fire had done damage that couldn't be easily reversed, and we were the only ones to blame.