Not my heart to give (thiam)

Emotions

Deaton, Melissa and liam had piled into Dereks car and set off to meet argent at his house. Liams head felt like it was falling in on itself, fragments of memory crashing to the forefront before snapping back out of mind. Some of these fragments were words, liam could hear Theo's voice, reliving parts of their convosation where they shared their dreams together. Other fragments were images, liam just remembering Theos face in many diffrent situation and scenarios. As if to be cruel, his brain threw a specific moment to the forefront of his mind, he saw himself, chest to chest with Theo, he saw himself saying something but he couldnt hear it, all he could hear was a faint ringing noise. Seconds later he saw his fist fly upwards and collided with Theos nose, it was when he first confront Theo since his return in the school toilets. Liams stomache weighed heavy as it twisted and distorted with guilt and worry.

Theo hadnt been a friend as such for long, a couple of days to be accurate, but liam held him incomprehensibly close. It was now his brain found an appropriate fragment to bring about, the moment before they were both shot earlier that day, something theo had said now rattled around in liams head. "But you're not gay". Theo couldn't open up to him because of this? He was pretty sure he knew what theo ment, and in that moment, liams own confused emotions had suddenly made sense. Liam liked Theo as more than a friend, or atleast he wanted to explore that possibility. Now though, Theo and stiles were missing and none of them had any idea if he was even alive.

"Liam are you okay" Melissa whispered, trying to make their convosation private from deaton and derek in the front seats. Argent was on the speaker in dereks audi and deaton was talking to him so her words were easily masked. As she said it, she rested her hand on liams, both his hands where on his knees and he was sat bolt up staring aimlessly at the roof. Shed noticed a tear begin to slowly fall from his eye.

"Were here now argent ill hang up and we'll head straight up" came Dereks voice as he pulled into the builings car park. As Deaton, Derek and liam got put the car, melissa cut infront of liam and again asked if ge was alright. This time he didnt ignore her, he simply shook his head, tears escaping easier now.

"We'll follow you up i just need to talk to liam" melissa called back to deaton, derek had already ran into the building, desperate to atleast learn stiles was alive. After a nod from deaton, she turned back to liam who was now streaming tears down his face, gentle sobbing breaths escaping. Moments later he fell to his knees and melissa crouched next to him, placing her arm around his shoulder. "Hey come on liam, whats up, whats brought this on?" She asked, gently rubbing his back as he completely broke down and cried.

His head throbbed and pounded, he couldnt get rid of the thoughts, Theo could possibly have ment he liked liam as more than a friend, liam wanted to know but the chance  he might never see theo again tortured him. Liam didnt want to have to go on without Theo, he had so much more to talk to him about, they had so much more to discover; together, Theo couldn't already be dead.

"Me and theo" he sobbed "before we were shot - we er" he couldnt muster the words through the sobbing, his chest ached and his head now flooded with all the bad outcomesthat could occur.

"You got close?" Melissa asked, now gently rubbing the back of his neck. When scott was younger and got upset she'd found rubbing his back and back of his neck often helped him feel comfortable in explaining the problem, scott had basically been helping bring up liam since he bit him and so melissa felt a connection to liam too, she cared for him.

Liam nodded in response, it was easier than trying to speak. He lent sideways and rested his head on Melissa's shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him. "Were going to find him liam, him and stiles, i think theirs more than just one love struck wolf here if you havent noticed" she said, using on of her hands to rub his back.