My Name is Andrew Lee Cooper.

Chapter One

I can feel heart racing and I know I'm nervous. I feel like puking. I try to think of something else anything else, but I just can't. Tomorrow is my first day of school, my first day at the high school. I'll be a freshman. I've spent the summer torturing myself; worrying about bullies and tests and classmates. I'm not friends with many people in my grade, in fact many of them annoy me. The small circle of friends I do have are the only tolerable ones. I'm worried about being tormented by upperclassmen, and not being able to keep up academically in classes. The plan was, in order to avoid this, for me to go to online schooling. So then, I could sleep in and not have to deal with peers and my social anxiety going through the roof. I could do my work when and where I wanted. But then my mother, after being gung-ho for it, then flipped a switch and was totally against it. I'm not into arguing, especially with Mother (you'd understand if you knew her), so I'm going to public school tomorrow. I'm looking forward to meeting new people, yes, but it's scary for me. People scare me; whether it's talking or just being in the same room. I'm scared of what they're thinking, of what they're capable of, or what they may do. I'm scared they'll laugh at me, I'm scared they'll hurt me. I'm scared of making a new impression, I'm scared of yet another person hating me (I feel like the list is growing pretty long).

I set my pencil down on my paper and sit back in my chair. I turn the lamp that sits on my desk off and I run my temples with my hands.

"Lily?" My little sister's voice echoes from the hall. Turning around, I can see her head is poked into my room. I walk towards her and open the door.

"Hey, Claire, what's up?" I mess up her hair and she shoves me away. I now notice she has tears streaming down her face. I kneel down so I'm at her level.

"Oh, hey, what happened?" She runs at me and wraps her little arms around my neck. "Shh, shh. It's okay. Tell me what happened, baby." I finally sooth her enough so that she stops sobbing, and she releases me.

"Mamma yelled at me and she said she wanted to hit me." I sit back and sigh. Our mother is a character. She's aggressive, to the point where it's scary. I'm scared every day that she'll hit me or my sister. I pray that she never lays a hand on Claire. If she does, I will kill her. No hesitation. No kid deserves to be beat.

"Why did she yell?" I ask, wiping away her tears. Her bright eyes look at me with innocence and sadness.

"I didn't want to clean my room. So she yelled and grabbed me and pulled me to my room. She stood there until I started cleaning. After, she got in my face and yelled some more." Rage is bubbling within me. She has no right to grab her like that. Our mother is a bitch and she always has been. She never sees our side and she always resorts to yelling. I pull her back into a hug and stroke her hair.

"It's okay, I'm here. It's alright." I can feel her shaking against me and I roll my eyes. Why have kids when you're going to treat them like shit? It makes no sense to me. I'll never understand it, I guess.

I look at the clock and it reads ten-thirty.

"Its bedtime, love." I tell her. She shakes her head and I sigh. "Just sleep in here with me, then." I run to her room and grab pajamas. Once she's changed and I've had her brush her teeth, she crawls into my bed and I tuck her in. She closes her eyes, snuggling deeper into the covers.

"She didn't mean to yell at you. She can't help it, that's just how she is." I kiss her cheek and I can tell she's sleeping. I turn out the lights and slip out of my room, quietly shutting the door. I head down the hall, down the carpeted stairs, through the dining room, and into the living room where Mother is sitting. Our living room is large, fitting two long black leather couches, one leather chair that Mother sits in, a big flat screen tv, and a big, long coffee table. I stride over to her and cross my arms.

"Hey. What happened with Claire?" She snorts and rolls her eyes. Turning to look at me, she pauses her show, setting down the remote.

"She decided that she didn't want to obey the rules here, so she got what was coming to her, the selfish brat." Brat. I almost scream.

"She's a kid, Mother. How could she know any better?" She waves me off and resumes her show. Turning, I head back up to my room. I try to fight the thoughts that enter my head. I have to, for Claire. But the thoughts soon penetrate.

She doesn't love me. She doesn't care. She hates me and wishes I was never born. I'm an inconvenience and she's just wasting her time. I want to cut so fucking bad. Why am I even alive? She wouldn't care if I was gone. If I was gone I wouldn't have to deal with her.

Trying not to wake Claire, I check my phone. Just a text from Amber, a friend of mine. We used to be best friends, but then Mother made us stop talking for awhile. We just started talking again, because I don't care what Mother says. I shoot Amber a quick text back, set an alarm for six tomorrow morning, and plug it in. I crawl into bed and try to gather warmth from under the covers. Thoughts swarm around in my brain, rattling around my skull, but sleep finally avenges me and I slip away.

A/N: Hey guys! Thank you so much for sticking around and reading the first chapter of this. I'm really excited to actually put this out there; as I've been writing this for around four or five months. If you have suggestions, questions, or comments, don't be afraid to speak your mind. Thanks again, I'll have more to come!