I'm Not Crazy (On Hold)

Silas

I took each step slowly, without making it be too obvious. I knew what waited for me at the bottom of the steps and was in no rush to reach it.

My mother watched me with barely concealed irritation, but I didn't care. Once I reached the bottom stair, she held out her hand for the medicine bag and I reluctantly gave it to her.

"What is medication did they give you this time?" she asked, looking over the name on the bag. "Clozapine. It looks like they're switching you to some heavier stuff now. Good."

I remained quiet as she pulled the medicine bottle out of the bag and opened it up. She read over the bottle before pouring out a four pills and handing them over to me. "Let me see you take them."

"The instructions say to only take one a day," I said softly.

Her lips pursed. "And I'm saying to take four. Anything else?"

"Where's Dad?" I asked desperately. If he was by chance still here, then I would be saved for the moment from taking all those pills.

Her eyes darkened and her thin lips twitched. "Gone. He didn't say when he was coming back."

My shoulders slumped in discouragement. My dad was my last hope and if he wasn't here, then there wasn't anything I could do.

I grabbed the pills out of her hand, popping them one at a time into my mouth, and swallowed them dryly. The capsules stuck to my throat as they slid down and I grimaced. My mother watched carefully to make sure that I had taken them all before she looked satisfied.

"Good," she said. She closed the pill bottle, but kept it in her hands. She motioned for me to follow her to the kitchen and then pointed at the floor. "Now kneel."

I bit back my whimper as I knelt on the ground. At least she hadn't put rice down today.

I could still feel the thickness of the pills in the back of my throat and I tried my best to keep swallowing in hopes that they would go down soon. Once I was kneeling, my mother nodded. With one last glance, she left me there and went back to her room.

Sean padded down the stairs after she left, an angry glint in his normally playful eyes. He came over to me and cupped my cheek.

"How many did you take?" he murmured. His gaze slid over me, making sure that I was okay externally.

"Four," I whispered. It wasn't too bad, but both Sean and I knew the consequences of taking more of these medications than you should. The side effects were harsh on the body.

He swallowed hard and his hand tensed against my cheek. He kept his face relaxed as he moved to kneel beside me.

"You don't have to do that," I said, talking softly. While Sean didn't have to worry about being caught, I did. If she found me talking to myself, she'd make me take more.

Sean sent me an unamused glance. "I know that, but I'm not going to let you do this alone." He winked at me. "It's easier to be strong together, Pookie."

Silas walked down the hall before I could respond. His dark eyes spotted us kneeling on the floor and he frowned. He hurried over and squatted down until his head was at eye level with me.

"Hey, Aggele Mou," he said, taking my hands in his large ones. "You okay?"

I nodded, trying to brush off his concerns. "Yeah, I'm fine right now. She just made me take some medicine."

"How are you feeling?" he asked in concern. This wasn't the first time that she had forced me to take more medication than I should have. I could still remember the first time she had. It was how I had met him. . .