Carvings That Bind

The Memories That Burn

Alyssan

I'm outside in the blistering cold.

No.

I thought, my arms gripping onto my shoulders tightly, the fingernails I'd often bite from anxiety digging painfully into my skin.

That's not right. I don't feel. I don't feeling anything.

"Never this much." My head explodes from the pain piercing my temples. My ears ring, an annoying and terrifying screeching echoing within them. High pitched and numbing. I double over and my mouth opens in a scream. I lift my hands up and curl them into my hair, pulling, trying to distract myself from the pain with a different kind. It only serves to make things worse as images and blurred objects filter through my mind, too fast for me to make anything out.

The ringing continues on and my own screams merge with it, becoming one.

Becoming whole.

Becoming my past.

Everything cuts off instantaneously and I'm left standing there. My arms fall, limp to my side and I stare off into the quickly darkening sky as the images slow and the blurred objects become clear.

Everything.

Right there.

My memories of how I died. The numbness just grows because all those whispers were true. I never believed it, but it was true.

I hiss and suck in a sharp breath as I feel a burning sensation on my chest, right over my bone. My teeth bite down hard on my lip and I start to cry as I look down and watch my skin peel away for the second time. I watch his sick and cruel torture continue on, gripping me and holding me hostage even in the afterlife. His mark. His claim. His property.

"Even in death." I laugh unhumorously, a sob quickly taking over as the tears spill over my cheeks. I lift my hands up to my eyes and shake my head furiously. "No." I muttered. "No! Goddammit! No." I continue chanting that singular word, over and over and over and, each time it leaves my mouth, my voice is more defeated than the last.

"Alyssan!" I hear Sawyer call my name, but I don't bother moving to look at him, not until he turns me around to face him. "What's wrong? Are you alright? You just darted out of there, I mean, I understand that it was an...unsettling picture, but still..." Sawyer's voice dies down as I lower my hands and meet his eyes. I can see his shock and how taken off guard he is at seeing me in the terrible state I'm in.

Red and puffy eyes. Tear stained cheeks. A crazed smile on my face. Blood covering my arms and clothing from where my sick tormentor played his game.

"Oh my god." He said as his hands drop from my shoulders. I watch as one slowly makes its way up to cover his mouth. I reach up and stop it. "What-what happened, Alyssan?" I bite down on my lip once more and pull in a tight breath, holding it there as I try to stop myself from breaking down even more.

"I-I remembered." A sob hiccups past my laps and I can feel myself collapsing inward. Sawyer can see it and I gasp as I'm suddenly pulled tightly against his chest, his arms locking around me like steel. As if protecting me from the demons in the world.

A little too late.

The bitter thought floats through my mind and I ignore it. My hands curl into his shirt and I pull him closer, my tears continuing to leak out.

"I remember how I died."