Swimming in a sea of my own ideation.
I've been like this since I was young.
At the age of 12 my parents decided a Psychiatrists was the answer.
But medication to sedate my wandering mind wasn't enough to quiet it.
A self destructive drug addiction is what developed.
A small white pill was The only thing that could appease my intolerable stress and anxiety.
Alas my parents were happy.
They could finally dismiss my existence and move on to managing my other siblings.
I had never felt so alone.
Abandonment enveloped me like long awaited hug.
It slowly nudged its way into my personality.
Letting people in is a distant and unfamiliar concept to me now.
Pushing people away is second nature
Never being able to get close to people
Never letting myself trust for the fear of being deserted and forgotten.
