Never Good Enough

5

it was lunch period and yoongi decided to go to the roof.

its so peaceful up here.
i've never been on the roof, but i
should go up here more often.

yoong pulled out a glass bottle of foul tasting clear liquid.

vodka
i took two or three big gulps of it. it burned the back of my throat and it tasked so fucking foul i wanted to spit it out, but i didn't.

hoseok walked through the door to the roof to see yoongi dangling his feet off the edge of the high building
"h-hyung?"
"hoseok-ah?! what the fuck are you doing up here!?"
"i'd ask the same question."
goddamn it hobi. you're not supposed to be up here, i just want to get drunk and fall off the roof. i cant please anyone and i fucking love you and you cant bother to notice. everyone loves you, you're perfect. you're fucking brilliant at dancing, so goddamn intelligent, and you're a fucking sunshine. and i'm just a worthless flop.

hoseok cups yoongi's face it his left hand, wiping away his tears. with his right he was holding his hyung's waist.
"yoongs?" yoongi just hummed as a response.
"do you love me?"
yesyesyesyesyes
"what? i-i uh uhm"
"oh...okay, i see" hobi responded in a disappointed tone.

hoseok's pov
i love him so much, and he doesn't love me back. he must not be gay? ah- his blonde hair, it's coming out. when i hold him all i feel is bones, he's literally dying. god, what if he hates me now?

hoseok pulled yoongi closer with his right hand and kissed his forehead.
"h-hobi?"
"yeah yoongs"
"im sorry."