The Final Beats of a Dying Heart

The Final Beats of a Dying Heart

As I stepped on to the front porch I could feel the warm sun on my olive skin. The warm breeze blew my long chocolate brown hair in my face and it sent tingles over my skin starting from my shoulders all the way down to my finger tips.

"Rose," called my mum who was sitting in her favourite cane chair, "Come here."

Mum waved her hand gesturing to the chair opposite to hers, inviting me to have a seat. Even with the sun shinning bright in the sky, she still had a quilt over her knees. These days the porch was her favourite place to go and let her mind drift away from reality; the reality that she had lung cancer.

Looking at her now I could see that she was both mentally and physically weak. Her once glowing olive skin was now pale and translucent. As I sat down on the chair she slowly lifted her hand to my cheek, her bony fingers dead white. As her hand came in contact with my skin I started to get goose bumps all over. Her fingers were as cold as if she had stuck them in a bucket of freezing water.

She sighed, "Your skin is so warm." I gave her a sad smile.

"Mum, you know I love you, right?"

"Yeah, I know sweetheart. And know that I will always love you, no matter what happens."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. 'No matter what happens'; she knew she didn't have long left and I could see in her eyes that she was tired of holding on. I also knew that any moment now she would fall asleep. I hated it when she slept because I was always afraid she would never wake up. As if on cue, her eyelids became heavy and her eyes closed. Her hand slowly fell from my face and I let a few tears escape from my eyes. She would wake up in a couple of hours but one day she wouldn't.

*

The next morning I woke to find mum sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Morning sweetie," she said with a strained smile, "I've got something for you."

She weakly grabbed my hand and placed a small gold ring with a deep blue Lapis in my hand; her wedding ring.

"Mum, I can't-"

"I want you to have it. The doctor called last night and he wants me to try a new treatment. This is my last chance, Kiddo. If something goes wrong I want you to keep it and if everything goes well then you can give it back to me. Just," she stopped to take a deep breath, "Just wear it for me."

"All right mum," I slid the small, fragile ring on my right hand index finger, "I'll wear it for you. And don't worry; everything is going to be fine."

"You really believe that?" she asked, tears becoming visible in her eyes.

"I have to. If I can't believe that you will be ok, I can't believe in anything. I can't lose you mum." Now I could feel tears in my eyes.

"You will never lose me," she kissed my forehead and slowly stood up, "Quickly get dressed, we're leaving soon. A hot cup of coffee will be waiting for you when you get downstairs."

I quickly dressed and ran down the stairs into the kitchen, to find my promised cup of coffee. As I took a sip my phone started to ring in my pocket. I placed the coffee back on the table and took out my phone and read the caller ID: DYLAN. I pressed decline and put my phone on silent.

Dylan had been my boyfriend before mum was diagnosed. I did still have feeling for him but I had told him that I couldn't have a relationship while my mum's life was hanging by a thread. He's called me twice a day since.

When we arrived at the hospital mum was quickly taken away and dad and I were escorted to the waiting room. We sat in that small room for what seemed an eternity. Minutes past and as each second went by I could hear the repetitive tick of the white clock hanging on the wall.

Finally the doctor walked through the waiting room doors. Dad and I immediately stood but as soon as we saw the doctors' face we wished we hadn't. The doctor's face hung low and he tried to avoid making eye contact with us.

"How is my wife?" My dad asked with an unusual fierceness to his voice.

The doctor closed then opened his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry, but there was a complication, she was just too weak for the treatment to have a positive effect. She went into Cardiac Arrest. We did everything we could but it wasn't enough. She didn't make it."

My body started to shake and my knees gave way. I landed on the carpeted floor with a thud. The shaking got worse and worse but I didn't cry. I couldn't make the tears fall from my eyes. My dad sat and cried while I remained on the floor in shock.

All of a sudden a troubled Dylan ran through the waiting room doors. As soon as he saw me he fell to the ground and put his arms around me. Finally I could feel the tears I had been waiting for well up in my eyes. I hugged Dylan tightly and didn't let go.

As I sat there in Dylan's arms crying, the same thought ran through my mind over and over. She was gone, really gone. I then remembered the ring on my right hand. She had said that I wouldn't lose her, but I did. Now the only comfort I had was knowing that one day many years from now I would see her again, but not yet.

Not yet...