Drag Race Imagines [ON HOLD]

[5] special / Jerick (Jinkx)

So this was written months ago, when I originally wanted to make a book like this but felt too insecure about my writing. But here I am, posting it, without reading over my old work. Yep.

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I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I were special

"It was almost as if you didn't miss me," Jerick started, their head dropping. They didn't want to show the sadness that was already painted on their face. "I was away for a month, and every time I called you, you seemed to be doing fine..."

I swallowed and tried to construct proper sentences while my heart was aching; I hurt the one I love the most. "I did miss you... so much. I wasn't doing fine, I felt lonely. I missed having you by my side," I took a deep breath before taking their hand in mine. "My friends would ask me to go out with them and yes, sometimes I'd happily join but..." I chuckled nervously before finishing my sentence. "Mostly I've been sulking on my own all day. I know I should get used to being alone, not having you around but it was just so incredibly hard." Jerick nodded before taking a tighter grip of my hand.

"I'm sorry, I understand." Jerick let go of my hand and leaned in close before wrapping their arms around me. "I'm sorry I'm so self conscious. You're so fucking special, I wish I were special." Their hold on me got stronger as they spoke the last sentence.

"You are special." I sighed deeply before pulling away from the embrace. "I'm sorry I suck ass at showing you that I feel some way about you." Jerick chuckled nervously and went through his hair with his hand. "I truly am sorry. I'll try to show my appreciation for often."

"It's okay," they smiled. "It's me who made such a big deal out of it." They leaned back into the embrace, completely melting into it. Their breathing calmed down a little, meaning they either calmed down a whole lot, or their narcolepsy kicked in. I didn't care which of the two it was, I just wanted to stay like this a little longer.

"J," I sighed. "You up?" I felt them nod on my shoulder. "Okay." I rubbed their back soothingly before taking another deep breath. "Just know that you can always come to me, to talk about anything. Even your insecurities." I felt them nod again.