Breathe

Summertime Sadness

"Laye?" Called dad. "Laye, don't be upset," he continued. My lower lip trembled as tears began to build up in my eyes again.

He was leaving again. He's leaving to be with his other family Dana told me. At that thought the first tear rolled down my face, then came another and another and another. It felt like I was drowning in my own tears. "Don't go. You can stay with me."

He looked at me with pain evident in his eyes and said, "I have to go but I'll come see you again." That made me cry even harder. With my small body I tried to hug him before he had to board his flight and leave.

Before he boarded his flight he knelt down. As he gave me a hug he whispered to me, "I'll write to you Laye. I promise."

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It was five years later and still I still hadn't gotten a single letter. Not even a call, that just seemed to make me angrier. He said he would but he didn't.

Now he was coming back to see us because he apparently missed us. Liar.

Mom told us to act nice, because even though me and Dana don't agree on a lot one thing we do agree on was that mom was too good for him. If you ask me he should stop trying to talk to us.

When he didn't talk to me a month after his visit I was a snotty, crying mess. Sure I was adorable, but come on who gets a seven year old's hopes up for nothing. He does.

About two months after his latest visit I began to realize that my dad was a dirtbag. That was hard for me to admit that my dad-my hero was a phony and a fake.

My sister explained it really well. She said that if he wasn't ashamed of us then he would have brought his other family to meet us. That made sense because he always told us how much he loved us when he visited-then he would leave and fall off the face of the earth, and come back into our lives many years later.

Then once she was finished with that heart to heart she would tell me to get out of her room or she would lick my forehead. And she would then proceed to lick my forehead.

If you looked at Dana now you would think-that girl looks like she could pass out from boredom or kill you four times. That would be of course after you stop staring at her blue hair.

"Flight 8 is now landing at terminal 4." The smiley woman behind the desk said pulling me out of my thoughts.

I was not ready to do this. I could barely go to a port-a-potty alone. How could I see my dad after five years of him ignoring me? I was soooooo unprepared it was almost funny. Almost. I felt like I was going to puke. He was actually here after five years of not speaking to us he was finally coming back.

Maybe he wanted to be apart of our lives again. Maybe. Maybe he's just here to make sure that we are really alive so he knows that the child support checks are going somewhere....

I saw a happy figure coming towards us and I had to fight down the disgust. I couldn't detect an ounce of fear or nervousness on this dip weed. Cocky sperm doner ain't he?

Dana and I stared him down. What shocked me the most was that after what felt like hours of us glaring at his bright face he hugged us.

When he let go mom wasn't there. She had probably gone into the car to wait. No matter how many years had passed mom couldn't get over what dad did to her. He tore her apart.

When I finally tuned back in he was rambling about his other family. He was talking about his other family, and what his wife said when he told her he was coming to Idaho to see us. Dana was bored and not showing any emotion or mercy on the naive sampling in front of her, who was now rambling.

"How about we go get your stuff and then we can catch up?" I asked sighing when he looked at me like I was an ape.

It was like he completely forgot I was there. So he hugged me again. "Ohhhh Laye I've missed you so much," he said happily.

That night at supper was when sh*t hit the fan.

It all started when mom asked for the potatoes, and he began to laugh because it was an inside joke he had with 'Stacy and the kids'.

He tried to explain it, and then he began to ramble again.

At the end of that pathetic attempt to liven the mood by Darren, mom brought up the story of how Dana, mom and I played the real version of hot potato at grandma's house on Christmas. That got us all laughing especially at the part where Dana threw it at our cousin and he screamed and fell over.

Then dad tried talking again... He tried telling the story where on one of his visits him and I went out in public and I told a barista that he shaves his back in the summer, but not in the winter.

That part was okay but the grand finale was when he was laughing and said ,"ohh Leah you were so little then".

The whole table went quiet, and I could see the disbelief written on my mom's face. I bowed my head down and stared at my thumbs, as tears fought to escape my eyes. He did not just say that.

He didn't realize his mistake until he stopped laughing and glanced around the table at us. "What?" He asked cautiously.

"Her name is Laye. Not Leah Darren. Laye. Her name is Laye." My mom whispered standing up to clear her plate. Everyone followed her.

The next few days just blurred together until the last day. The only thing I really remembered was him leaving us for who knows how long again.

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Thank you for reading this. I don't know why but I'm honestly sooooo happy!!
xx Koala