How can I talk to you about how I feel?
Depression and anxiety feel like a taboo.
At times I've tried to tell you.
And in the end I feel more alone than before.
When all I've managed to do today is just that;
Manage
How can I possibly tell you that to me,
It's an accomplishment
When getting out bed feels like digging out of a snow cave with frost bitten fingers, only to find my safe havens become a place of unexpected judgement and pain...
But not unexpected to me, but to you.
Because you don't know the pain I hide in my jacket pocket.
You don't see the bleeding fingers or hear the brittleness of my bones.
I remain silent in the storm.
Making sure not do something that would harm my source of warmth.
Or cause it fade in nothing.
When you are someone who does so much and shines so brightly,
Tell me
How can I hold a candle to you?
I can't.
I wish,
More than anything,
That I had a real accomplishment to be proud of.
I wish I had a candle hold or a match to light
But I don't.
Because all I've managed to do today
Is just that;
Manage.
