Note To Self:
do not fall in love with 3 a.m. texts and soft red thermals until you can read something else when you can't sleep without your mind leaving on a search to find the girl you thought you were instead and all you need to keep you warm is the sun your snow white skin once craved as much as you now crave his meaningless kiss.
(you feel cold like snow, too - have you been eating?)
when you are lying on your stomach that you've felt a little better about since he touched it without flinching away like you always do every time you pass a mirror and you're staring out of your window counting planes, do not wish he was there with you. he is too busy counting his lovers and you are far too complicated to be summed up in or become one of his numbers.
just think of all of that life on those planes, flying somewhere to create memories or begin anew. they must have been through other types of storms without the protection of a metal aircraft, if any at all; just like you have.
you have every reason to envy them just as much as you envy the pretty little singer trilling melodies in to the mouth of your first love (although you should truly be pitying her because you know he will be the reason her voice cracks) and that's good. hold on to that. use that. you will be flying away soon, to england or to ireland or wherever your heart calls you and i promise that it one day will no longer be calling to him.
use your mouthwash to cleanse your tongue from his taste, don't use it to cleanse the life from your body and the thoughts from your mind.
buy new books instead of pills.
I really like this one and random authors note haha xx
YOU ARE READING
aesthetic ✔
Thơ camy poems, give credit. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK SUICIDE AND DEATH IS MENTIONED MULTIPLE TIMES. PLEASE SEEK HELP IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL, DEPRESSED, OR JUST OVERALL SAD. YOU ARE LOVED. •••••••••••••••••••••••...
