Life damner

Decisions

3 weeks until I am fully a demon. The last couple if weeks i've seen Paxton and its crushed me. I've been ruthless to keep him away. It hasn't worked,but i feel like it will today. 
Sitting over by the window is him with a girl. She looks like him. That must be his sister. Before I punched him in the face with my words he told me about his sister and how she was so successful. I stride around keeping myself busy. I realize I keep walking by them and I hear every word of their conversation.
"Paxton mom misses seeing you."
"Yeah she misses controlling me."
"Paxton she is not like that."
"To you she's not. Your her little angel."

" That is not true!" Her voice raises, but since they are in public it becomes lower once again.

" Who's the one who got her college paid for in full? Who's the one who didn't get kicked out of the house because they couldn't figure their life out fast enough?"

" It isn't my fault you didn't listen to their rules."

" Yeah, but you can defend your brother."

" That's a choice I couldn't..."

He snapped. I could see it in his eyes.

" You couldn't make?! Are you joking? You could have. You just didn't want mom and dad to see you were becoming rebellious. You were afraid of them taking away your funds."

" You have no idea how hard it is to be the good girl. To always listen and obey!"

" your right because I chose to make decisions for myself. To be my own person. To adult on my own."

" I don't know why I thought I could talk to you and have a grown conversation."

" I'm not the one yelling and making a scene."

He got the final words. She strode out like a storm. Destroying everything in her path. Next came Paxton. his face rested weird. Making him look unfamiliar. My heart tells me to follow him and comfort him. He needs someone, but that's not going to be me. 3 weeks. 3 weeks. 3.... Oh screw it. I smack my apron on the counter and follow him. He walks fast, but so do I. I grab onto his gentle warm hands and try to envelope them into my cold fragile ones. With one swipe they're gone and then, along with his hands, he is too.

Throughout the night I try to figure out why he didn't take me offer. I don't understand. He's wanted me for this long. What made him stop.... Me. I did. I'm so stupid. I pushed him away. Of course he's not going to take me. He hates me. Now feeling a wave of sadness hit me I go to my car. Driving to my rented home I feel my heart sink into the depths of my stomach. It's in a pit full of despair and languish. Taking a shower and washing my face I feel calmer and more reasonable. He showed me he doesn't need me. That's good. This means I can leave knowing he can forget about me. The one problem is the fact that I don't want him to.

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It's a couple days before the change and I am finally ready to leave. I have worked my butt off and penny pinched my way to almost 1,000 dollars. Packing what contents I do have I make sure not to leave anything behind. I look in my suitcase one more time and go through my mind checklist.

~ 3 graphic tee's

~ boots and sneakers

~ 2 pairs of jeans

~ leggings

~ hoodie

~ leather jacket

~ bathroom supplies

Finally putting my bag in the back seat I go to a drug store and get food. Snack stuff, drink stuff, and of course health foods. This should hold me for a couple days. Pulling out of the parking lot I feel the pit of my stomach drop. I'm leaving. I'm really going to leave him. I know I'm going to change, but my feelings won't.