Pot luck //Multi Drag fanfic

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Shane pov

Stupid decisions, I keep replying the though in my head. Im so confused. I think about her going into the room to read my letter. A letter I dont know whether I should have created now. What was that!! Thinking about it, I instantly regret not talking with Brian and bottling this up... I hate this shit, commitment, trust, loyalty... commitment, trust, loyalty I sigh as those 3 persistent word repeat in my head.  I look through my messages to Ash analysing them feeling weird inside. Every time I re-read them, it slowly becomes less clear whether she has any interest in me at all, sighing again i look at picture i got of the both of us hugging that Justin took of us its my favourite thing, we both look so happy in it. i lock my phone angrily, I set my phone down and lie down properly in the bed, trying to sleep. I need to stop over thinking things. My brain activity slows down, finally some sleep...

Her name starts ringing in my head, I can see her face, and that photo again. I open one eye and Im picking up my phone without realising frustrated that I can't do anything for 5 minutes without feeling anxious to what happened. I look down at the time debating to go and find her room. 2:50 Am. She'll be asleep...Fuck. What do I do, I start feeling more and more stressed, knowing if I don't do anything about it, it will eat me up inside. I feel physically sick. I get up out of the bed and look for something to do. My eyes glance around the room as I go in the direction of the balcony, opening the doors. I feel the icy cold wind hit me on the face, not bothering to grab something to put on other than the clothing on me I step outside and shut the door. I shiver, at least there is something else going on in my head. feeling even the lightest bit refreshed I lean on the edge of the balcony and look out towards the city. For it being nearly 3 in the morning, London is still pretty awake, just like home. I look over to the lights of cars driving by and the street light shining bright. Yet the wind was making me feel cold the view was quite something. I stare out across letting everything now in the hopes that it takes me away. Silence, watching the cars dart down roads... "Shane is that you?? What are you doing up?" a voice whispered, totally unrecognisable due to the distance it had travelled, while the person also tried to stay quiet because of the time. I look around frustrated as i wanted to be left alone in the moment and see Brian standing out on his balcony, at this point he held his cigarette to his mouth and subtlety took a swift drag on it, releasing the smoke carefully causing it not to spread too much. "What are you doing up at this hour?" he asks me again , I shrug not really knowing what to say. "Come on Shane, you know, I know what happened." I look at him; he stubs his cigarette out and is fully looking at me. "i don't know what you're talking about" i say to him without giving him eye contact "don't talk shit, Look, no arguement Im coming over, we can chat then okay. Dont bother trying to disagree with me." I nod at him still dumbfound that he nearly caught me breaking down for the millionth time this week.

Brian McCook pov

I walk back into my room and grab my key looking at Brian peacefully sleeping before I leave out the door. Walking quietly to Shanes trying not to disturb and wake anyone is a lot harder than it looks when it's so eerie slient. I knock softly on the door, I look across towards Ash's room, I hear noises coming from her room obviously still up. The door in front of me slowly opens, I walk in and shut the door; he grabs me into a hug before Im able to do anything else. I hug him tightly, he quivering, and freezing cold probably from standing out on the balcony without layers, He is completely out of it. "Brian I feel so lost, I want to go see her yet I feel as if Im invading if I do. Tonight was awful I didnt know what to do, and I let her go without saying anything to her. She must thing the worst of me." He blares this all out on one single breath. I looked at him dead straight in the eyes, his usual happy twinkle, glimmer was no longer there, instead his eyes wandered looking lost and stone cold. "I have told Ash this whole thing and I'm now gonna tell you. You have nothing to worry about... before we left the club she sat with me and cried. She felt so stupid, she loves you... and I mean crazy in love, but you need to be careful with her she's had a rough past relationship or two bit like some of yours hunny she's finding it difficult to figure out." I see him nodding at me, "i totally get it but why leave doesn't she trust me enough to talk" i see him droop after finally perking his emotions up. "She said she didnt want to burden you with her commitment shes struggling to figure out what sexuality she really is probably because of how bad that relationship was." I see him crumble, "I dont want her to think that I would hurt her like that, I thought she'd be able to come to me with that sort of thing." I Look at him, "hunny she nearly didnt tell me about it she was afraid we'd all ditch her if she was too problematic and that we'd not look at her the same like a burden. she felt helpless and just took it in herself do deal with it by herself so she would cause anymore pain than what she already believed she had." I look at him wondering if to tell him or not. "Shane please Don't kill me Shane but she knows Knows..." "knows what???" he looks deadly confused. "I told her about you." waiting for him to get cross and kill me. "it was the reason she confessed her own love for you" He looks at me and squeals "Brian really!!!!" I burst over the top of him, "you both know how you feel about each other. You need some time to think, she recons she does and to be quite honest I believe you do too, it helped Brian and me and it will help both of you, even if it results in the worst outcome at least you both aren't debating and feeling unhappy. Look I told her to act as normal before all this before tonight and leave it for the South American tour. You might be able to speak in the end of the tour but leave it for a week let yourselves have a week to analyse tonight and figure out what you are going to do...okay." He nods. "look I'm going back to my room to bed, try to get some sleep and I see you later yeah." "Thats sounds alright" I hug him leaving out through the door. I get into my room I take off my coat that I put on to go to the balcony. I get into bed, "there you are baby." A small but sweet whisper appears. "Bri sweetie go back to sleep." "Okay," he softly hums. I wrap my arms around him. He lays his head on my chest, I kiss his head softly. I wait till I hear his soft purr like sounds coming from him knowing that he was now asleep as I let myself fall asleep.